Every once in awhile I go to the blogs of my myspace friends because well I get bored and sometimes it ends up being an interesting read. Today however has just left me feeling empty and sad.
     I'll explain I first went to one of the my most recent added friends pages first and what do I end up reading a blog entry she posted about her dad and how she feels about him dying, great, next was someone I went to high school with and used to talk to and what does his have? A blog about his mom's death. What does this have to do with me feeling empty and sad now? Simple, I understand what both of them are feeling well ok maybe not so much the second one because he lost his dad when he was way little and then lost his mom so he has no parents I at least have my mom. Either way, I started thinking because the first one has a child and she was talking about how she's going to get her son to know about her dad and know how great he was and all and well, I mean her dad got to meet her son because he was born before her dad died. I mean that's something.
        It's hard to explain because I don't really talk to either of these people much or really at all now that I think about it, but I feel for them because I understand. I mean her dad's been gone since '04 the wound has had some time to heal and leave a scar, his mom has been gone since the beginning of the year so it's still a fresh wound for him. I fall between the two, my dad's been gone long enough for it not to be a fresh wound, where I can go to his grave and not burst into tears the minute I see it, but it's not scarred over yet, it's that stage in healing where it's not an open wound but the slightest bump could wretch the whole thing open again. Yet what the first blog had in it is something I understand, something I go through, something I know about. When she says her dreams make her believe her dad's alive and she wakes up only to realize he's not, I get that, I do that, I do that at least twice a week. Since I went to Florida and came back there hasn't been a single day where I didn't wanna talk to him and tell him what's going on because he would listen and whether or not he agreed or whether or not he liked what I said he'd say something encouraging, something to make me feel like he got it.
        God I hate reading people's blogs.