So, you've dedicated your life to your instrument, and now you've finally landed a touring gig with an established band. Well, don't forget that rock and roll is a business, which means several non-musicians will be traveling with you from show to show, working in tandem with you to ensure that each concert is a success. This entourage may include:

1) A DRUMMER

(Just kidding, drummers. Hey.... Ow! That cymbal hurt!)

2) A TOUR MANAGER

A tour manager's responsibilities are many, and only certain people are cut out for this job. Someone who has experience babysitting seven to ten screaming children may be a good candidate. And he or she must also possess certain skills that most musicians simply don't have, such as the ability to tell time.

3) ROADIES

The one thing to know about roadies is that they prefer lofty, important-sounding
titles such as Stage Tech or Production Manager, so oblige them and address
them as such, at least while they are within earshot.

4) A BOOKING AGENT

A good booking agent should be aggressive in business,
negotiate like a pit-bull, and believe in a good strong seven or eight
of the Ten Commandments. And although your booking agent won't actually be
part of your daily entourage, he will be with you in spirit every step of the
way, thinking about you from the luxury of his office in Beverly Hills.

If you are wondering why Tuesday night's show in Melatonin, Florida
is followed by a Wednesday night gig in Frostbite, Alaska, understand that your
booking agent has done everything in his power to keep driving distances at a minimum. That is why when he routes your tour, he employs highly
scientific methods, such as putting on a blindfold and throwing darts at a
map of North America.

5) CONCERT PROMOTERS

You'll likely meet one of these in each new town. (They're easily identifiable by the abundant chest hair, massive gold chains, heavy cologne, and general mafia vibe.)

A good promoter doesn't mind the smell of money burning. An even better promoter doesn't mind the smell of his own money burning. Unfortunately, even the best promoter prefers the smell of your money burning. So try to get paid up front before every gig.