So I think Louie had a minor heart attack yesterday. He was helping me take the garbage out. It was making me feel so good to have him help me. For some reason he just LOVES to wheel our bins to the curb. So it was happy fun mother-son time. The sun was shining, rabbits were hopping, breezes were blowing. But I should have known. I should have sensed the trouble circling overhead, ready to nose-dive us and start pecking away at our happiness. Louie was trying to turn around the recycling bin and it tipped over and disaster struck. As soon as I looked up and saw what had happened, my brain immediately flash-forwarded to the natural conclusion of this disastrous turn of events. Louie was going to see all the stuff I was throwing out, and he was gonna FREAK OUT. Louie is loathe to get rid of ANYTHING. So I took a deep breath in and tried to prepare myself mentally for what was to come:
- WHY ARE YOU THROWING OUT THE GOLDEN GRAHAMS BOX? I WANTED TO MAKE THAT INTO A PUPPET SHOW!!! Louie can't seem to part with ANY cardboard box, no matter what it is. He always claims to have a use for it. Lately the "puppet show" has been his go-to reason for wanting to keep any and all boxes.
- WHY ARE YOU THROWING OUT THE YELLOW SPIKEY THING? I WANT THAT! The "yellow spikey thing" is a grid leftover from a game I was putting together for him. I popped the pieces out and was left with a yellow plastic grid that any person in their normal mind would, of course, throw out. This was my SECOND attempt to throw out the "yellow spikey thing". FAILED. I will visit you again soon, yellow spikey thing.
- WHY ARE YOU THROWING OUT MY WATER BOTTLE? I WANT THAT! The water bottle was something he got at my bring-your-child-to-work day and it got left in the car one 90-degree day too many and it is just crawling with disgusting microbes and germs and mold and general ickyness. Since we probably own no less than THIRTY water bottles, I thought it safe and wise to pitch this one. DENIED.
Before he got too carried away I started steering him away from the scene of the crime like a good cop "move along, nothing to see here" and sent him in the house. I stayed outside to clean the mess up. Nothing I like better than going through garbage that has been sitting in my recycling bin in my nice hot steamy garage for 2 weeks since we were on vacation last week. IT WAS GREAT. And the whole time Lou is at the window in the house on tiptoe, squinting, straining his neck, trying to get a good look at what I may or may not be daring to throw away and putting his 2 cents in with loud squeals and whines and protests. "NOOOOOOOO! DON'T THROW THAT OUT!!! I WANT THAT! NOOOOOOO".
So if any of you notice garbage in your cans that you don't remember putting there, it is because I am going to have to start sneaking around under cover of darkness like a ninja and pitch stuff in YOUR cans so Lou doesn't find it. Who knows, maybe YOU will find a use for the yellow spikey thing.