I like to think I'm a good person.. I'm always putting people before myself. Doing whatever I can to make others happy, even if it hurts me by doing it. I forgive and forget, sometimes even without the apology I deserve. Second chances are something I give out regularly, even when you don't derserve it.. What do I get in return?

People walk all over me, use me, play with my head, take advantage of me being nice. They lie and steal. They almost make a point to say "John stop being a good person." I don't understand what drives people to hurt other people. To use them, to play with their heads, to fuck them over. How do I keep putting myself in these situations..?

I think that because I see the good in myself and a couple others, that I tend to think everyone else has got it, but I'm really coming to realize that's not true. People are always going to be self-centered, selfish, and always willing to put other people down to walk over them. Well honestly, I'm tired of it..

You all can walk your directions until you drown, burn, fall into your hole, or get backstabbed yourself. What goes around is certainly coming back around to get you too. I'm gonna stay back with these people I KNOW I can trust, instead of the people I'm just wishing and hoping and wanting to trust. I don't care if it's just me and Kevin and Tim. They're who I need. They the ones who always have been there, and will continue to be when I need them.

So good luck to every one of you. When you end up where I am now, remember that you did it to me first. To someone who never did anything but everything for you. To someone who looked out for and cared about you. To someone who never deserved any of it, unlike you.

There's nothing wrong with me. There never was. You, and everyone like you, did this to me. Make me freak about the small things, get my mind racing so fast I can't even stop to catch up. I'm paranoid about being hurt because of people like you, but I'm still up and smiling everyday, and doing everything I can for you. Does it make you feel good knowing that? Knowing that because of how you decide to fuck people over that you've destroyed every bit of hope I've had for the world, even for myself...