I was woken up at three this morning for an interview on John Heffron's nowlive.com internet radio show. As the show goes out at 7pm in California I had to set the alarm to get ready for my end. I think it was a well judged move on my part now. I have an additional four new MySapace friend requests now. John's actually one of about three MySpace people I have as friends that I hadn't met before (the other ones being Beck and They Might Be Giants (thought John Linnel signed a mouse mat for me in Glasgow)).

John and I have been screwing up anyone who might search for Heffron and comedy on google for some time now. Though I'm probably messing up his searches more than mine. It was nice to finally meet albeit over the phone.

It was a fun chat we had; we discussed how you pronounced 'Heffron' – John maintains it is more like 'Heff-rin' than the (correct) 'Heff-ron'. However he is an American and we must learn to let these things go. Or they will bomb us. I imagine that is where some of the trouble in Iraq is with some muslims going 'it is pronounced "shee-ite"' and the other muslims going 'no, it is pronounced "shite", ha ha ha. Now we will bomb this marketplace.'

I'm not saying it's responsible for all the problems across there, but no one would deny it is not a contributing factor.

We also talked about who would have more trouble performing in the others country. I speculated that it would be me as John has won "Last Comic Standing" and been on the "Real Men of Comedy Tour" and has an internet radio show – all things with a certain degree of kudos attached. Meanwhile I struggle to get booked in my own country – I do have a 5 star review from an internet magazine, but everyone knows that this is really a fraud and a sham.

John was browsing up my MySpace space while we were talking and noticed that I'm down as being "The Heff" – a name people naturally gravitate towards with out any prompting from me. I've tried a new one – "David 5 Star Heffron" but does not appear to be as catchy or as popular. John claims (though he offered no proof) that he is called the "The Heff" as well and that it has been his AOL sign on since 1996. He then saw the picture of me holding a spear while I said I would fight him for the name. He seemed to be willing to negotiate at this point.

I maintain that as someone who has not deserted the Heffron homeland (yet) I can claim ownership. For all I know John is descended from a Ukrainian family that had their name changed to Heffron by an officious customs officer as they arrived off the boat to Ellis Island. He could could be a Heffwozki for all I know. Admittedly he still can lay a claim to "The Heff" but it doesn't change my argument. Nothing changes my arguments.

However it looks like John will be my ticket to fame and fortune in the US. I would be willing to sign away all claims to the "The Heff" in exchange for appearing on any HBO Comedy Specials he is appearing in. The bonds of Heffron are stronger than you might believe. They are stronger than glue, but not of gravity. So, then, exactly as strong as you might believe.