told my mother today that she was pretty sure I was going to get a boyfriend soon.

Well, she would say that.

The way she and my mother go on about me you'd think I was the key to the universe or something. Adjectives are used. Ones like "stunning" and "genius". it's a bit embarassing and largely false.
 
I'd never dare cross my grandmother but I tell my mother all the time that I'm not impressive, I'm not that amazing, I'm just not all that special. And she just sighs.

My grandmother is a self-proclaimed clairvoyant with a penchant for reading tarot cards and who has more jewelry than you've ever seen. Once, I told her I liked pearls. And now, in the mail once a month or so, pearls, pearls, pearls. Old pearls, new pearls, pink, black, white pearls. I've got a lot of pearls. Pearls I never wear because they're so old and fragile like her and I'm afraid they'll break.

She reads the cards in ways I can't even begin to comprehend. A little card flipping and some good old-fashioned clairvoyance that supposedly runs in families but which I've not seen a bit of in myself and my grandmother, who is possibly the only remaining family member who calls me by my first name still, tells my mother, "Zoe won't be alone for much longer."

Mom wants to know what she means. "I think a boy's going to come along and steal her heart away," replies my grandmother placidly.

"And why wouldn't he," says my mother, "she's so beautiful."
"And talented," agrees my grandmother.

I just sigh and leave the room, unable to hear any more of this madness.