The thing about Mayor McCheese:
You know nothing appeals to children more than politics and better yet politicians – when in doubt, if you want to sell hamburgers to children – nothing better than a talking hamburger that's involved in local fastfood Politics – better yet, one that couldn't even get to be on the cast of H.R. Puffin' Stuff – We'll deal with that bastard later (another pantless cowboy) - anyway, I guess McDonaldland needed a mayor to get a handle on this Hamburgular situation – I mean seriously they caught this guy everytime he attempted to steal a sac of burgers – can you say, repeat offender – does the law not pertain to this fellow – it's like he had an in, in the McDonaldland legal system – every week this fucker would come up with some weak ass plan to nab a sac of burgers from some unwitting soul – when he would get caught he would pull some mentos shit (you know what I mean, shrug his shoulders, palms up in the air, smirk on his face – as to say, "oh, gee whiz you caught me" - he knew he'd be back on the streets again scheming his next burger heist – and you know his attempts never yielded any serious results – but what never sat right with me, was the fact that beloved Mayor McCheese never quite addressed this Hamburgular situation – what kind of bullshit is that – you know mr. purple mystery thing, Grimace used to steal milkshakes – don't believe me – look that shit up yourself – this fucker would try to steal your milkshake when you weren't looking – this purple bastard tried this shit for a year (1971 to be exact) – and like the hamburgular, he was foiled on a regular basis – but for some reason after the first year of shake taking – he served his time and his grimacing demeanor turned to that of a recent lobotomy patient – I don't know what kind of shit they pulled on him in the joint – but it worked – he never tried to steal a shake again – so what's the difference between Grimace and the Hamburgular – it's seems kind of weird that he steals the very thing that Mayor McCheese is made out of – I'm thinking it's some sort of ploy to drive the price up on the hamburger market – a market that Mayor McCheese has his greasy little fingers all in – and for that matter, what the fuck kind of clout does this clown have – hell the country/province/state whatever it is, is named after him and the reformed shake stealer is quoted as being his best friend – look it up – the purple automaton's favorite food is sausage – he went from shakes to sausage – this whole situation is shrouded in mystery – I think there needs to be a thorough investigation into this McDonaldland – and what the fuck is up with this Fry-Guy Shit – shuffling, mumbling pom-poms that sport chuck-taylors – you don't see that sort of shit in the Burger Kingdom – the King wouldn't stand for it