This is dedicated to all of you in the hospitality business, specially the front desk clerk since they are the ones who have to put up with everyone they come in contact with. 
And to those of you who have never worked in a hotel, pay attention! Desk clerks should get more recognition and praise for all they do.
some of you have read this before... enjoy! 
SOMEONE IS LISTENING
I AM A DESK CLERK
I have advanced degress in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer science, civil engineering, psychology and Swahili. I can also read minds.
I am a desk clerk: "Of course, I have the reservation that you booked six years ago, even though you don't have the confirmation number, you think it was made under a name that starts with "X", and it was not guaranteed with a credit card."
I am a desk clerk: It's not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds each, four rollaways ... and yes, I can install a Jacuzzi and wet bar if you'll give me five minutes. If you need them near an exit, it'll take an extra two minutes. And yes, it's my fault we don't have a helicopter landing pad, a boat launch, a horse corral, a bike stand, a blimp docking station or a snowmobile parking area.
I am a desk clerk: I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Thursday, you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions... so, yes, I am able to tell you why your bill from March 1989 containted a $.35 phone charge. You obviously never paid your phone charges.
I am a desk clerk: I understand that your company McGillcutty's Widget Manufacturing and Roller Skating Rink is a vast empire that can make or break our property. So, yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more floors of guestrooms. This time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad, the boat launch, the horse corral, the bike stand, and the snowmobile parking area. This blimp docking station will be quietly constructed before you awake in the morning. And it is my fault that everone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in today, even though you have no reservation.
I am a desk clerk: I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, making five reservations, and transferring fifteen incoming calls, fixing the soda machine, calling a cab for you, unclogging the toilet in room 221, and giving directions to a non-English speaking guest... all at the same time.
I am a desk clerk, phone operator, bellman (thanks for the $.25 tip), housemaid, guest service representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information service, map, entertainment critic, restauranteur, stock broker, TV repair person, computer technician, ice breaker, postman, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, ambassador, fax person, human jukebox, and verbal punching bag. And I do know why room 112 is not answering their phone: I'm just not telling you.
I am a desk clerk: I always know where to find the best vegetarian, kosher, Mongolian, topless, barbecue restaurant at 3:30AM. I know exactly what to see in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, lost luggage, bad cable reception, and the national economy. I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel and Adult Bookstore of Antartica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special one dollar rate, because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.
I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, cajole, upsell, downsell, (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, and fix the printer and the network. Oh...and of course I know where Foxtrot Lane is.
I am a desk clerk: I do all things...and try to look busy when the management is around.
writer: unknown.