Waste the World Tour - Municipal Waste, Goatwhore, Phobia, Cauldron, and now Off With Their Heads

Monday, Dec. 7 - Montreal, QC

The crew split up for the drive to Montreal.  The whiggah partiers arrived still drunk on the bus while the rest (Ian, Chris, Laurie, Craig and Craig's good friend Shannon) rented a car at 10 am and hit the icy roads for 5 hours.  To pass the time, the entire Forgotten Metal Gems series was cranked.  Highlights were Warminister's "We Rock to Rock" and of course Tarantula's "The Battle of the Victory".  Upon arrival in Montreal, the gear had already been loaded in by Sean and Co. to the relief of the latecomers.  The stage at Foufounes was really fuckin high, and word on the street was that W.A.S.P. cancelled their last show there because the stage couldn't support Blackie's motorcycle mic stand, even after they called in a welding crew to fix it up.  With some time to kill before soundcheck, the obvious thing to do was order some poutines and drink some Boreales.  Dave came running back to the bus with some dusty old beers that he was really excited about.  He explained it to us the only way we understood, that it was like a holy grail of NWOBHM 7" singles.  A couple dudes were filming the show and one of them brought a Raven "Hard Ride" single to trade for a Cauldron LP.  After the show they gave all the bands a copy of their performance filmed from the balcony.  Tonight's show was opened by local thrashers Reanimator.  They put on quite a show, gas can and all!  Their drummer is actually a show all in itself.  The Cauldron set went over a storm, with support from some aggressive Ottawa bangers in the front row along with our good bud Matt "Wrath" Abusor, a one man wrecking crew.  The French bangers took to Brutal Truth like gravy and cheese curds on fries.  The boogie boards came out for Municipal Waste, along with some shitty dollar store sleds that didn't really do anything.  After the show everyone hung out on the bus, including Chris' mom, a superfan who never disappoints with the muffins and cookies.  Goodbyes were said to Matt (who was storing his beer under the bus), Laurie, Craig, Cobra, Spyder, the Stephensons and the Aggressor boys.  Couldn't get too hammered tonight because of another border crossing.  Lewis went inside and came back with a border guard who said we all had to be awake because they were coming inside to inspect the bus.  Then 5 minutes later they told us to eff off and just let us go.  Sweet!

Sunday, Dec. 6 - Toronto, ON

We were glad to be back in Toronto for a day so it wasn't going to be wasted.  Chris and Ian took off on the streetcar at 8 to go home while Jason and Ryan got a ride with Kevin to Parkdale so they could get cleaned up.  The rest of the crew stayed on the bus at the Opera House and caught up on lost sleep.  Around noon the Cauldron boys met up for the two most important things: food and records.  After a relaxing lunch at Sneaky Dee's for old times sake, every record store in Toronto would not know what hit them.  Among some of the scores were SAINT - Warriors of the Son, WARRIORS - Warriors, SAIGON - One Must Die, CUTTY SARK - Hard Rock Power, GRAVE DIGGER - Wargames, STEELER - Steeler (Germany) x2, BLIND FURY - Out of Reach, HELLION, BLACKLACE... LAAZ ROCKIT - No Stranger... (Second copy of the tour, first one got worn out on the bus)... plus lots more poverty metal classics.  Heading back to the Opera House we stopped at the jamspace to pick up some more merch and deal with the Sneaky Dee's in the bathroom.  Back at the Opera House it was finally our favourite time of day.  The load in was an easy one and before long all kinds of friends were stopping by and having beers on the bus.  Ian's amp exploded during soundcheck and the next hour would be spent scrambling for fuses.  The Cauldron boys did a couple interviews, the first one was by the dudes who were filming tonight's show.  It was a pretty awkward interview.  The second was a lot more fun probably because the guy had no idea about the band and it wasn't being filmed.  The show was already filling up by the time local thrashers Fatality opened up.  Luckily Ryan's backup amp sounded really good and the show went over pretty smooth.  The only problem was that Chris' drums kept falling off the drum riser and the sound chick had to keep running on stage to fix them.  Guess they'll have to use some extreme closeups for those parts.  After the set we hung out backstage while Brutal Truth got ready for their set.  Everyone tried to remain professional but a few got too starstruck and had to head for the door.  The crowd was in a frenzy for Municipal Waste, and one unlucky dude by the name of Philthy "Soft Serve" Bernard (CHROMIUM DIOXIDE) had his foot kicked so hard that his toenail peeled all the way back and he had to rip it off.  It's always something with that guy.  Right after the show the whole crue cabbed it over to the Bovine Sex Club to drink some Bohemians while R. Waste did a DJ set of stuff that nobody had heard before, but he made sure to throw in some old classics like W.A.S.P. and O.Z.Z.Y.  Amonng the guests were Al "Tilcry" "Positions" Chambers, Steve Demise, Chris Rites, and Craig "Parkdale Massive" "Huge Chi" "Young" Rose.  At the end of the night it was just Jason, Ryan and Phil huddled around the turntable hi-fiving and listening to SAINT for the umpteenth time.  Back at the bus, there was a massive whiggah party with lots of frozen puke on the ground outside the bus door.

Saturday, Dec. 5 - Cleveland, OH

This time everyone got up late either because of being hungover or from not being able to sleep because of all the noise (mainly Jason singing).  There were lot of food options around the Grog Shop but I think most people just went to get burritos at Chipotle because word got out that they had a nice bathroom.  When everyone was sitting around watching tv and waiting for load in, a knock was heard on the window.  It was none other than Dan Lilker asking if LandPhil was home and if he could come out.  The dressing rooms are a lot foggier now that Brutal Truth have joined the tour, plus they had a lot of work to do since the border crossing was tonight.  Attendance was raging at this show and the back room was fully stocked with High Life's, so a good time was imminent.  After the gig flew by, it was time to strategically load the trailer so that no merch would be visible if they happened to have a look inside at the border.  When there was nothing left to do, Jason tried to pick a fight with Ryan but had his head slammed into the trailer multiple times.  Next he was dragged inside and thrown through a table and smashed all the bottles on it.  He was seriously injured by this point but had to use all his strength to return to the bus before security was onto us.  The border crossing for the Toronto show was tonight so everyone tried to stay up by hitting the bottle.  Soon everyone dropped one by one, and when the bus stopped we dreaded getting up and  sitting at the border for an hour.  It was amazing to look out the window and see we were already in Toronto and slept through the whole thing.

Friday, Dec. 4 - Detroit, MI

For once everyone was up before we got to the show.  Perry pulled over at a fly by night truck stop to get the trailer hinges fixed again, this time for real.  It took so long and there was nowhere to redeem Taco Bell bucks that everyone ate stale bread and peanut butter, except for Sean who was hoarding some frozen pizzas in the back of the freezer.  Finally got to the Magic Stick and loaded in up a shitty 3 flight stairwell with some help from the Phobia boys.  Brutal Truth had already arrived for their first show of the tour.  When everything was set up there wasn't much to do but have a few drinks and maybe redeem a food ticket if you're one of those eat before you play types.  The Cauldron set started a few minutes late due to a wardrobe malfunction and buzzing amps but everything worked out in the end and the whole set was played.  Phobia also had shit go wrong but sometimes the show must go on.  Around this time the Cauldron boys ordered their food from the wigger bar downstairs, which was actually pretty decent (the food).  Chris had managed to use his resources to locate the secret shower in the giant vacant hall.  As Ian left the shower he was approached by two ballin' thugs in the hall with no one else around.  These Detroit rappers were impressed by the show they walked into by mistake and wanted to get a piece of the action by flashing "$50,000" watches and trying to get in touch with management.  After being called a loser for not having a phone or a pen to write down a bullshit myspace page, a quick escape was made through the bowling alley and back onto the safety of the bus. 


Chris recommends some fine dining
When the bus was on the road, Chris urged everyone to request a stop at White Castle.  Pretty soon we were staring at a menu of quality miniature burgers and rippled fries.  Ryan didn't have any cash on him so he traded $5 worth of Taco Bell bucks for a $5 bill with the local whiggaz.  They thought it was a great idea when Ryan sweetened the deal and told them it was worth $6 even though there was a giant "$5" written on it.  This had to be the first night that everyone stayed up past bedtime and partied together on the bus.  As soon as the Gowan and Platinum Blonde videos got put on, a massive side-bang party erupted and lasted until 8am when we pulled up to the Grog Shop in Cleveland.

Thursday, Dec. 3 - Chicago, IL

Last day off of the tour.  The bus was moved to a vacant parking lot a couple miles from the club.  The earliest risers were Dave, Ian and Chris who ventured out into the snow to eat some breakfast at Dave's fave spot, the Sunrise Cafe.  There was a fight over who got to use the toilet first.  The food was pretty average.  Dave was so unhappy with his food that he flipped over every table in the cafe and threw his food right in the waitresses face.  McShitcorpse was right across the street but it looked like a bad omen when a hearse pulled out of the drive thru.  Next stop was Dave's friend's studio where some hot tracks were being laid down.  Had a chat for a bit and listened to some singing through megaphones and then predictably headed over to the nearest record stores in the area.  The only scores this time were some dollar bin Rainbow and Triumph LP's and Laaz Rockit's "No Stranger to Danger".  Headed back to the bus and started eating all Lewis's leftover pizza and watched some movie about spiders.  It was so cold out that everyone put on their sweats and went back to their bunks for the night.

Wednesday, Dec. 2 - Chicago, IL

The day began with Ian and Ryan searching for food, toilets and records.  The first stop was Flash Taco just around the corner from the Subterranean.  The dudes working there were assholes but the food was decent enough.  Next stop was Reckless Records where we were tempted to buy the entire Was (Not Was) discography.  Walking back to the bus, it was clear that the bus is due for a wash.  There are a bunch of gang markings and about 15 penises drawn in the dirt.  One thing about Perry is that he doesn't take pride in keeping the bus washed like Mike did.  Load in today was a real bitch.  The venue was across the street and up two flights of stairs, and merch was on the third floor.  People were smacking their heads on the ceiling left right and center.  After soundcheck Ryan's older brother Matt showed up and the boys went out for some gourmet dogs while everyone else drank leftover Beer 30's on the bus.  Killer turnout at this GIG!  It felt good going on stage first with the place already packed and the first couple rows singing all the words.  After the set we threw all our stuff off the stage and hung out with a few chi's that caught our set the last time we were in Chicago with Enforcer.  Off With Their Heads and Phobia switched places because Phobia ran into some trouble on the highway.  Maybe we should try that so that we can go on later.  Too bad we're travelling with Municipal Waste.  The crowd was increasing in intensity as the night progressed.  It was surprising that only one guy jumped off the balcony, taking out about 15 people in the crowd.  After the set a bunch of eager teenagers helped load out gear to the trailer in the pouring rain.  Around this time some kid threw a beer bottle at Phobia's van and shattered their windshield.  When it was time to take it easy, Dave, Sean and Ian headed over to a bar and met up with Lewis while everyone else went their seperate ways, since everyone has friends in Chicago.  Upon returning to the bus, Lewis was so hammered that he ordered 10 pizzas and then polished off a bottle of whiskey with Chris.  Everyone who was still on the bus passed out soon after, except for Lewis who started making weird sounds in his bunk and yelling "THAT'S FUCKING GROSS!"

Tuesday, Dec. 1 - Minneapolis, MN

After a pretty rocky ride to Minneapolis we finally peered out of the windows at the surrounding projects.  The Triple Rock Social Club was a pretty classy looking joint with many "NO FIREARMS PERMITTED ON PREMISES" signs in the windows.  With a couple hours to kill until load in and no record stores nearby, the Cauldron boys ventured out to find some food.  Jason got about a block until he turned back.  Ian and Chris were heckled by thugs until they realized "What the fuck are we doing walking through this shithole when we can just eat at the fucking show?"  Of course the kitchen wasn't open yet so a couple stale peanut butter sandwiches were eaten while American Justice - Witness Protection Program Special played on the tv.  So if you're on tv wearing your disguise, aren't some gangstas going to recognize your ass?  Around this time, gear was thrown onto the stage recklessly and more soundchecks were done.  By now food was being sold so Chris and Ian went to go redeem their food tickets.  Apparently if you order at the bar and then move to a table, the bartender will make sure to tell the entire bar that it was a "dick move".  I wish Chris had heard that because he said he would have thrown his plate at the guy's face.  Beers were not to leave the backstage area since this was an all ages show.  There were pretty decent beers to choose from this time, but if you were a true chi you could simply go for a BEER 30.  This set was pretty weird again.   It was an early all ages show again.  Everyone was in awe of the full on metal onslaught being presented to them.  The set was short and sour as usual.  Things started getting out of hand by the time MW was on stage.  That Airwolf theme really gets the kids going.  After the bodies were scraped off the floor and all the shit was thrown back in the trailer, there were two things to do.  Either go to the hotel and shower or go to the Melt Banana show.  The Cauldron boys along with Ryan and Lewis opened the door, jumped on the floor, and everybody walked the dinosaur over to the hotel.  Some wigger in the hotel kept walking by and hitting the door so we opened the door and Jason ripped some good ones.  Ryan and Lewis went over to the show so the Cauldron boys watched some shitty movie until Ian and Chris had to drag Jason's corpse into a cab and go back to the bus.  Moe was passed out cold by the time we got back, even sleeping through a marathon of "Viva La Bam".  Old food was reheated and beers were cracked until everyone got tired and went to bed.

Monday, Nov. 30 - Winnipeg, MB

Winnipeg is a huge party town.  All kinds of cool stuff was going on when we arrived.  It was almost impossible to find anything to eat other than Shit Hortons.  Dave, Ian and Jason got up bright and early to hit up a couple record stores.  Pretty slim finds, Jason got Survivor - Vital Signs for a buck.  Back on the bus, the promoter had dropped off a couple cases of Kokain-ee and Stella Light.  For once everyone will be avoiding the Stella.  Soundcheck went over quickly considering it sounded weird and no one was really feeling it.  With nothing to do the Cauldron boys waited on the bus, having a few sips and watching the dreaded football channel.  Typical small town crowd at this one.  The one over-excited fan at the front, the crazy dancing girl, the bald jock in love with Jason, and the two real bangers over at the side.  DFA from Saskatoon played next, this being their last show of this Canadian portion.  The crowd was getting riled up for Municipal Waste.  One dude jumped onstage and smashed a beer bottle over his head to show his appreciation.  After all the gear was loaded out and the bus had belched out all its black smoke, everyone gathered for some shots and a photo op.  The whole bus reeked of exhaust on the way to the border while everyone watched a Bowflex ad.  This crossing into Minnesota was almost as smooth as the last with a bit of added questioning and a search of the bus, plus a fucking up of the bay door by the nerd border guard.  While we were waiting Moe asked if they could unlock the bathroom for her, followed by Ryan who needed to go.  The border guard said "Guys, did I just unlock pandoras box, or do you really have to go?"  Ryan told him we can't shit on our bus and all was well.  Soon we were on the road again, but not for long since the bus started overheating.  Then once the bus got going again, we hit a giant "ROAD CLOSED" sign in the middle of the highway.  I think at this point we just stopped caring and went to bed.

Sunday, Nov. 29 - Regina, SK

Lucky for us, we got to spend our day off in the Northgate mall parking lot in Regina.  There was all kinds of entertainment in the mall until it closed at 5.  Over at the BUrger King it was wigger central with all the Rough Rider football fans.  It was a lot of work just to get a poutine, so almost everyone was a prisoner on the bus.  Not much happened here.  I think Dave and a couple others went to see some ninja movie.  That's about it.

Saturday, Nov. 28 - Calgary, AB

This morning was spent sleeping late because of the previous night's disturbances.  Everyone got up around 3 to load into the Warehouse.  Ian trekked off to Recordland and scored the Acid - Black Car 12", Sortilege - Hero's Tears and a few other gems.  Back at the Warehouse, Markus showed up and escorted the Cauldron boys to Safeway since there's nowhere else in Calgary to eat.  Pizza Pops and microwave dinners are added to Speed Metal Clayton's tab.  Walking back to the bus the boyz run into Ian's-girlfriend's-Mom-and-brother who have come to see the show armed with baked goods.  Everyone watches Borat on the bus and eats cookies until it's time to go in and catch the "burlesque" dancers that are opening the show for some reason.  The lead dancer mentions how it's so "ronnnndom" that they're opening for a "death metal" show.  30 minutes later Cauldron take the stage to play for a rowdy crowd of horny teenagers.  Pretty decent set with no mishaps aside from all the confetti and tissue paper getting caught in guitar cables.  After the show everyone except Ryan and Jason went over to another bar, where word on the street was that it would be closing and drinks would be free afterwards.  After a few beers and "jag and cokes", Ian and Chris take off and try to find their way back to the bus.  The problem is that train tracks run through downtown Calgary, and every 5 blocks there are underpasses.  The boys decided to do the same as a couple of hobos ahead of them and cut across the railroad tracks.  Ian crawled underneath a car while Chris tried to climb in between and got caught in barbed wire, and then fell onto the tracks.  The next step was to take a pallet and climb up the fence with it.  The bus was in sight andn the boys must have saved about 2 minutes with the shortcut, so it was all worth it.  Jason and Ryan took a cab somewhere and found out no one was there and then took another cab back to the bus, which was pretty cool.

Friday, Nov. 27 - Edmonton, AB

Still in Edmonton, today is the big gig we have all been waiting for.  We start the day off with a healthy meal at Shit Corpse's and a browsing of the local antique store.  There was a massive record section with 2 metal records, Restless and Reckless.  Among the other collectibles were some California Raisins and an offical MC Hammer figure with REAL cassette tape.  We load in, take shits, do soundchecks, change strings, and jam Free Country with Ryan backstage.  We make sure to head over to Octopus Ink, Edmonton's premier record store.  It's always pricy but Ian managed to get a long sought after copy of Ostrogoth - Full Moon's Eyes.  Ryan scored a pile of stuff in return for MW merch.  Before long our buds Markus and Dave show up in full patch vest attire.  Ian, Tony and Ryan go to a funky themed restaurant for some slices.  Back at the Starlite, all the Striker boyz have shown up.


Funky food and the 2 Ian's
Sadly our bud Speed Metal Clayton left for Argentina that morning, but he made sure to give Striker $100 to take us out to the bar and get us drunk.  By the time everyone has been rounded up though, it's time to play.  This was a shit stormer of a set, one of the best of the tour.  The sound guy stupidly left a mic stand in the center of the stage.  Pretty soon it gets kicked into the crowd and the mic gets spun around by various audience members.  Things didn't go so well for Jason this time.  A kid punched his bass and broke a string off.  Jason's other bass was backstage, so the best option was to throw his current bass into the wall and make a run for the back.  After our set the soundguy was all pissed off about his microphone, but whose fault was that?  We made sure to use up all our drink tickets before going to the bar with Striker.  Unfortunately after the show was done and all the gear was loaded out, the bar was closed.  Jason used this opportunity to ask if he could pay his phone bill with the money.  Later on the MW boys went to some dude's party while 2/3 of Cauldron went to Denny's to get some Grand Slams.  Upon returning to the bus, some Gay L. A. Metal dude who claimed to be friends with Jason was mistakenly let on the bus.  The next hour was spent trying to get him off so everyone could go to sleep.  As soon as he was kicked off, the MW boys returned and made the mistake of waking up Jason.  Until 11 am, Jason could be heard getting his ass kicked wrestling and singing off-key to Saint and Reckless again.  In the morning Chris came back from the hotel with his Mom and found the Toxic Twins still awake and partying.  He tried to tell his Mom that they weren't severely hammered but were just early risers.  Soon after, as the bus was on the road, we approached an overpass that we couldn't get through.  We needed to back up a couple blocks and some old bag smashed into the back of the trailer even though Chris was back there directing traffic.  He made sure to tell the old bag that there was minimal damage and to give her the wrong license plate number of the bus.  Anyway we're getting into the next day here so scroll up, dude.

Thursday, Nov. 26 - Edmonton, AB

We woke up in Golden, BC for a pit stop.  Jason was seen walking to the gas station wearing his "Beaver Cup Pond Hockey" hat, a clear indication that old man winter has finally arrived. 


Fun times in Golden
For the remainder of the drive to Edmonton, some people looked out the windows at wildlife while others watched Butt-O-Ween instead.  The next pit stop was a steak house that all but a few ate at.  Those who were sleeping missed out and had to eat dinner at Shit Hortons.  Later on Chris' mom showed up and dropped off a giant bag of chocolate chip cookies which were devoured in seconds.  Big day tomorrow, so everyone went to bed early.

Wednesday, Nov. 25 - Bellingham, WA

Yes, we played Bellingham.  Someone's gotta put Bellingham on the map.  You can thank us later.  I think we arrived sometime in the afternoon, around 3.  Saw a couple record stores on the way into town so we made sure to stop by.  Pretty slim pickin's in Bellingham.  We left with 1 Frehley's Comet - Live... Plus 2356 VHS, 1 Beavis and Butthead "Butt-O-Ween" VHS and 1 Sepultura - Morbid Visions postcard to mail home to Mom.  It was pouring rain here, a rude awakening after the tropical paradise of LA.  Ian's sister Jane came down from Vancouver to see the sound check because she heard Cauldron's are really good. 


Jason and Ian play "who is taller", Ace hanging out near Ian's bunk
After that it was time to hang out on the bus watching Robocop while a throng of fans waited outside until the doors opened.  Crazy punk guy with multiple knives was up front along with the true chi's from Stryker.  Good set overall, even after some dude took our quality Washington brewed Rainiers off the stage.  They even come with chunks of genuine Northwest dirt in every can.  This was a late gig, and MW didn't hit the stage until after the stroke of midnite.  A truly awkward crowd had gathered for their set.  When Tony yelled "circle pit", people must have misheard and thought he said "backwards triangle and square pits simultaneously".  After packing up the gear in more rain, it was time to hit the Canadian border.  We must have done something right because we arrived at 3am, they stamped our passports and said "see ya", even with everyone's goofy and thuggish looking passports.  And who's gonna believe that a long haired Korean tour manager's name is Lewis Lovely?  Our tour mates Off With Their Heads were not so lucky and had to drop off the Canadian portion of the tour.  Anyone know any bands?

Tuesday, Nov. 24 - Seattle, WA

Pretty rough start to the day.  Everyone was awoken by Mike wheezing "Guy's!  I can't find the club, I need the address!"  Ryan had to get his laptop out and find the address for El Corazon, but then told Mike we were in the wrong city because he was still hammered.  After more abrasive bus maneuvering we arrived at our destination.  Mike fucked off and flew somewhere to drive "Carrie Underwood" and our new driver Perry showed up from the deep south.  The first thing Perry asked was where his bottle of Crown Royal was that he left on the bus a month ago.  Well it turned out when Mike showed up, he found the bottle, told us "Toby Keith" had given it to him, and he was giving it to us.  What a guy.  At 3pm we had to load in.  Most people were already up, but Ian got up for the first time that day to throw up in the alley way.  After load in, those of us who still felt like shit went back to bed until sound check.  By this point a student film crew showed up to film the Cauldron set for our Live in Seattle: Grungamania dvd.  Everything was sounding good and 5 cameras were set up for the shoot.  Back in the bus, beers were cracked and Triumph and P.O.D. were cranked to get the magic power flowing.  The atmosphere abruptly changed for the better when our "Still Fit to Boogie" intro tune was played.  Fucking WILD crowd tonight, they sure know how to bang their heads when the cameras are rolling.  Had showers and beers after the set, but packed up early for the night after the show was over.  We have to be in top shape for the raging GIG in Bellingham!

Monday, Nov. 23 - Portland, OR

Jason and Ian were the first ones out of the bus in the hobo haven that is Portland.  We got some greasy pizza and then went searching for records.  The first store sucked, the second store put on Witchfynde - Give 'Em Hell as soon as we walked in just to test us.  Then the guy showed us a $50 Slauter Xtroyes record he had.  We said we couldn't afford so he gave us a cd copy for free.  The third store was just right.  Well not really but it had some decent stuff.  Picked up the 2nd Seduce lp for Ryan, plus such gems as a Lee Aaron "Call of the Wild" 12", Bronz "Taken By Storm" and some other stuff that probably wouldn't have been purchased had there been better stuff.  We waited around for the Satyricon to open so we could load in.  Around this time our buddy Aris showed up after seeing Chris walking down the street.  We hung out on the bus for a while and then he took us to a music store so we could get replacement parts for all the equipment that we relentlessly abuse night after night on tour (one tuning peg). 


Portland wasn't really that weird
The promoter pulled up next to the bus while we fought off bums and got beer out of his car.  We did an interview after load in and then listened to pump-up tunes on the bus before rocking the big GIG.  The show started late because the sound guy was cleaning up puke in front of the stage, and then Jason took off looking for a friend of his.  3 songs in the sound guy told us we had 5 more minutes.  Well fuck that!  After the GIG things started getting blurry in the bar next door.  Mike even showed up for his last night of the tour wearing a fedora he bought off a bum for $20.  After tugging on Chris' hair and buying everyone shots he retired to his hotel room.  Later on after another Tony Foresta hosted rap party on the bus, the remaining partiers hit up the strip club down the street.  The couple remaining responsible ones had to keep placing bills and drinks in front of Jason so it would look like he hadn't fallen asleep.


Aris and Chris keep it real, the littlest Cauldron fan

Sunday, Nov. 22 - Medford, OR

Absolutely nothing happened here.  Day off.  Got a hotel room, showered and watched Beverly Hills Ninja.  The record store was closed which sucked.  Ate Taco Bell and Red Robin burgers, and didn't go to the bar with Mike.  A few people could be heard having Skype video sex while others watched a really budget movie about snakes.  Wait actually we got our trailer fixed finally and just as we were about to leave, 2 cops showed up on the bus (invited on by Mike) saying somebody on the bus was seen smoking a crack pipe.  They threatened to bring a drug dog on the bus but instead ended up checking everyone's eyes for crack pupils.  Then Lewis came out of the back wearing his funboy shorts and the cop pointed at him saying "It was this guy!" even though he had just woken up.  As soon as they left everyone pulled out a crack pipe and lit up.  (joke)

Saturday, Nov. 21 - San Francisco, CA

Most people got up a few hours after the bus had stopped because no one can sleep with Mike's reckless driving.  The front lounge was crowded with people watching "Man Vs. Wild" on the Discovery channel.  The whole show seemed kind of pointless, but everyone loved watching the guy get naked and swim in ice cold waters so he wouldn't get his clothes wet.  Then in the next scene he goes swimming in his clothes.  A few people took this opportunity to go to a KILLER burrito place around the corner.  One of the Super Burritos could feed an army for 2 days, so they were a pretty good investment.  Before long it was time to load into Slim's.  Nice bar.  The first guy we met was the chef, Jose.  By far the coolest guy in San Francisco.  He made everyone really good food and seemed to remember everyone's name from the last time they'd been to Slim's.  Soundcheck went over fine considering the noise restriction.  We just had to turn down the bass a bit but it still sounded good.  Decent turn out by the time we went on, but a lot of people still showed up later pissed off that they'd missed us.  Show up early kids, we're the first band on!  Today we were from somewhere in Arizona, the previous nights we've been from Richmond and Sweden.  Huge dressing room party at this one with loads of beer and old Halloween candy. 


Pardyin' offstage and on
We've got some snapped off tuning pegs and broken drum sticks to deal with so we'll be hitting up a Shit Center near you.  Municipal Waste had some technical difficulties and the crowd was getting restless but they managed to get it together with a shit stormer of a set.  The Cauldron boys watched from sidestage as that DRI dude headbanged in the front.  Load out was fast aside from the even more fucked up trailer.  The bus party quickly moved to "Butter's" across the street where the bar was taken over by MW and entourage.  Many people were told to fuck off, and Tony made sure to get some dance moves in on the bar. 

Friday, Nov. 20 - Anaheim, CA

Started the day off in LA still.  Ian drove to the show with Laurie while the bus got stuck stuck in traffic.  The show tonight was at Chain Reaction in Anaheim, an all ages bar in the heart of the Mattress District.  The show tonight was really fucking good.  Every band had a huge mosh pit.  Definitely the first time a circle pit has erupted for our newest thrash anthem "Chained Up in Chains".  Calm the fuck down kids, save some for later!  The highlight of the set was when Ryan jumped onstage with a giant plank of wood with handles on it, and did push-ups during Making Noise and Drinking Beer.  By the time Municipal Waste hit the stage it was getting pretty greasy.  There were kids everywhere with blood streaming off their faces trying to get out of the show, wimps! Tony got electrocuted like 3 or 4 times and J had to step in to help keep the sluts off the stage. After the grease settled and the millions of cans of Mountain Dew were swept aside, we threw all the gear in our fucked up trailer and hit the road to San Francisco where a GIG is imminent.

Thursday, Nov. 19 - Los Angeles, CA

Finally we were in LA to play at the infamous Key Club, formerly the location of Gazzari's.  We loaded in while smoke and lazers blasted and crappy music played.  Out on the sidewalk there was the world's biggest Phobia fan, a completely insane chick screaming at everyone who walked by and who would soon be dancing front row with only a bra on.  MW remembered from the last time they were there watching Steel Panther that there was a flying harness at their disposal.  Everyone decided it would be a great idea for Landphil to fly over the crowd during his bass solo.  Phil and the harness dude ran through the routine about 4 times until it was down flawlessly.  The kids would really shit their pants when they saw that.  After the Cauldron soundcheck We all walked rite past the Rainbow and hit up a pizza place on the corner that had dollar beers. Fuck $5 Rainbow beers! There was a lineup on the sidewalk by the time we got back and there was a good number of young bangers up front by the time we played.  This was probably one of the best Cauldron sets of the tour so far, complete with heckling Phobia fans.  The crazy chick had all her belongings kicked off the stage during Ian's guitar solo (complete with rolling around Gatorade bottle death trap!). We all watched the MW set from the balcony so we could get a good view of the carnage.  From the balcony could be seen a wizard and Jesus.  To distract the crowd from Phil putting on the harness, they brought out Santa Claus to give someone the beer bong, and then invited up Jesus to fight Santa.  As soon as Phil's flying solo started, the crowd lost their shit yo. 


The crowd loses their shit
After the loadout the Key Club turned into an awesome techno bar, and we were invited to stay and hang out if we wanted.  We declined and headed back to the hotel while Jason, Ryan, Phil and Tony went out to a redneck bar, but then came back soon after because it was so awesome.

Wednesday, Nov. 18 - San Diego, CA

We were still in LA this morning so that Municipal Waste could "film some songs for something".  It was pretty strange waking up to find ourselves at the Hot Topic warehouse.  The boys had to load in to the live room and play a few songs in front of all the employees on their lunch break.  Never has there been so many side-swept haircuts and pink pants in one place, or been such dead silence in between songs.  MW made the most of it though considering it was one of the most awkward performances.  The highlight was dedicating "Boner City" to the awareness of sexual harassment in the workplace.  After the set, a few people got to raid a closet full of clothes.  There is probably about $800 worth of Insane Clown Posse merchandise on the bus right now.


$800 worth of ICP merch
  The drive to San Diego was only a couple hours.  The venue was located in the heart of pizza district and also right next to the airport.  Every five minutes a low flying plane would nearly hit our bus.  This was the first 21+ show of the tour, and it definitely showed.  The Cauldron set was good but it just wasn't the same without our usual crowd of 6 and 7 year olds.  Most of the show was spent on the bus watching Ratt videos and drinking 24oz beers snuck out of the Casbah.  It was a pretty quiet night with only a few Saint songs cranked a couple more music videos filmed.

Tuesday, Nov. 17 - Los Angeles, CA

We had the day off in LA so that Municipal Waste could do a photo shoot, and it was way better than sitting around in Tempe for the day.  We got up pretty late, and Mike told us we had just missed Dolly Parton getting out of her bus that was parked in front of us for the day.  He's probably full of shit.  Anyway we all had showers at the hotel at our leisure and looked around for something to eat.  When MW got back to the bus, Dave Witte held his own beer tasting clinic while the rest of us went to the Rainbow to buy overpriced drinks and mediocre food. 



Taking turns driving back from the Rainbow
When we got back to the bus, everyone went to bed except for Ryan and Jason who sang along to montage music until 8 am.  Every once in a while one of Jason's piercing off-key screams would rip through the bunks while everyone groaned.

Monday, Nov. 16 - Tempe, AZ

Our bus and fucked up trailer rolled into Tempe some time in the afternoon. 


Rollin' on into the bowels of Tempe
The Clubhouse was pretty decent and had a nice big stage to take advantage of.  After we threw all the gear inside some of us went to the Mexican place around the corner while others starved.  A shitload of kids had shown up by the time Cauldron played.  We gave the Goatwhore boyz a mad shout out since it was their last show of the tour.  We'll miss Sammy's raging and Jenkem's shit and puke stained pants.  After all the crowdsurfers were kicked out we all went to a bar next to the show where Sammy jumped on a table and flipped it over, thus falling directly on his face.  I think that was the last we saw of him.  After the bar died down we went back to the bus for a huge rap party featuring songs from Tony's ipod.  The bus was doing some serious bouncing as Mike came back from his hotel and got pissed off and kicked everyone off the bus.

Dave Witte and Cauldron chained up in chains

Sunday, Nov. 15 - El Paso, TX

We began our day off in El Paso by doing laundry at the Sleep Inn and looking for Mexican food that would resemble the inside cover of Tres Hombres by ZZ Top.  The laundry machines were bullshit and required 8 quarters to function.  The dryer was so shitty it needed 24 quarters to dry one load.  Who carries around that many quarters in their pocket (besides Jason Decay)?  We passed the time watching that Hard N Heavy video, featuring metal greats such as Kingdom Come, Sea Hags and Hardly Dangerous, in the back of the bus.  Picked up some beer and margarita mix and headed over to Sonic for dinner because nothing is open in El Paso on a Sunday night.  Later on, another tour bus pulled up next to ours.  This bus featured tribal artwork and one of those extendable living rooms and belonged to a country band.  As a couple guys came out of their bus, Jason tried to break the ice by saying "What gay band are you?"  Ryan claimed we were a tribal country band as Jason was promptly put back in the bus and fell asleep in the front.  Ryan and Ian seized this opportunity to remove Jason's zero gravity moon boots and take them on an adventure all over the hotel grounds and Stony LaRue's bus. 




Jason's space boots do El Paso

Stony hooked us up with beer and whisky and even threw on a Judas Priest dvd to make us feel more at home.  As everyone went to bed and came back from whatever movie they went to see, some genius nearly broke into the trailer but obviously got scared off by something considering how close they came to getting it open.

Saturday, Nov. 14 - Denton, TX

We awoke to Mike yelling "Showers!" at everyone who was still hammered but desperate enough to get out of bed to take one.  Dave, Chris, Ian and Sean all got up, not having showered for about 5 days.  The parking lot was next to a high school with buses full of high school girl's basketball teams pulling up for the big match.  They must have enjoyed the sight of Ian standing on the sidewalk throwing up on his shoes.  An hour later and we were all on the road to Denton, TX.  It seemed like it was right in the middle of desolation, but luckily there was a pretty good Mexican place nearby, if you just followed the train tracks for a quarter mile and took a left at the abandoned gas station.  A bunch of people who missed the early morning shower headed over to the promoters house to be hosed down.  Tonight's venue Rubber Gloves had a nice old upstairs area for us to hang out, where they hooked us up with all kinds of food, beer and sparkling mineral water.  The Cauldron set went over pretty well aside from some guitar malfunctions.  Jason handled it pretty well playing such games as "Name that tune" and "Got any jokes?". 


Ryan checks out the freshly BBQ'd chihuahua, a delicacy in Denton

At this point a raging BBQ had assembled out back with ribs, veggies and all kinds of Shiner beer and a cute little chihuahua ready to be thrown on the grill.  A lot people were pissed off that they filled themselves up on chips and dip when there were piles of meat cooking out back.  We could have partied like that for the rest of the tour but unfortunately we would have to pack up and leave by 3 am on our way to El Paso.

Friday, Nov. 13 - Oklahoma City, OK

We got to the Conservatory in Oklahoma City sometime in the afternoon after hanging out at a truck stop for a couple hours while Mike did his laundry and got his shoes shined.  The first order of business was to hit up the record store next door.  If you're a big fan of Krokus and Raven, you have to drop whatever you're doing and head over here. 


Krokus and Raven mania in Oklahoma

There were a few records to be found but nothing much new since the last time we played the Conservatory in September.  After the record store was cleared out, Ian cleared out his bunk and threw his mattress in the storage bay of the bus after finding bite marks all over his lower back and arms.  Chris also found old bug larvas in his bunk.  Pretty fucking cool!  While waiting for load in a few of us watched a Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult bootleg video.  Dio was definitely not in top form but it was still a good time.  After sound checks were done and many 3.2% beers were drank (apparently beers in Oklahoma don't exceed 3.2%) the GIG started filling up.  This was one of the best Cauldron sets of the tour so far.  Lots of headbanging was done by the locals, and the bathroom was filled with puke by the end of our set. 


Fellow bangers puke side by side, the Conservatory is wasted

Cauldron manager Andrew Sample showed up with real beers for us imported specially from Kansas.  Everyone was hammered by the time MW played.  Gear was thrown in the trailer and there was a raging party on the bus.  Jason and Ryan filmed about 35 different music videos for such hits as Free by Stryper, Moonlight Desires by Gowan, Try Again by Warriors, Blue Collar Man (Long Nights) by Styx, Play the Game Tonight by Kansas, and Thunder in My Heart and Break the Ice by John Farnam, popularized by the RAD soundtrack, plus many many more.  Jason passed out shortly after, with Ryan hoping to resurrect him by the power of God with more Stryper tunes.  Ian ate an entire loaf of bread in the hopes to not be completely ruined the next day, and Ryan began to double fist hot sauce and Jack Daniels before bedtime.


Stills from the set of Jason and Ryan's new music video for "Free"



Thursday, Nov. 12 - Austin, TX

We rolled into Austin around noon and everyone headed over to a Mexican place on the corner.  I don't know about what everyone else ordered but the huevos rancheros were fucking awful.  Quite a few people had to run to the bathroom right after with a bad case of the Chura.  Cauldron and Ryan looked up some record stores within walking distance but only came back with a few dollar records and a pretty cool Metallica comic book.  It featured a detailed action sequence of Cliff Burton being crushed under their tour bus with a tie-dye shirt on. 


Jason catching up on Metallica, and some local art

Gear was loaded in shortly after and was only interrupted by a crazy woman who claimed to have "Alien AIDS" that were implanted by the government.  Later on more Lone Star's were drank, interviews were done and each band gave a detailed account of the water fiasco from the last show, much to the dismay of the interviewer and film crew.  Pretty cool crowd tonight, the Cauldron boys even got a pit going for their mid-paced metal set.  The crowd kept increasing in frenzy until MW hit the stage.  Jason and Chris performed stage dives after Sammy accused the crowd of stealing our bullet belts, and special guest Billy Milano came down from his bar down the street to do "United Forces" with the Waste which also included some of his standard stand up comic routine where he referred to Cauldron as "Triumph".

Wednesday, Nov. 11 - Houston, TX

We all got to Houston around 2pm and pumped iron in the parking lot.  When everyone was ripped some of us went for a walk around the desolate neighbourhood while those with bikes went ripping around town. 



Pumping some iron in the parking lot

Across the street from the Meridian was a suspicious looking Chinese place called the Dong Studio.  We walked in just to see what it was all about.  The old lady was hesitant to say what they did but she said it was $60 for 30 minutes.  We said we would come back later and walked back to the venue.  Load in was through a freight elevator manned by Jason Decay.  Gear was set up, Lone Star's were drank, and shits were taken by many.  After soundcheck a lineup was forming around the block of kids arriving early to see their favourite "NWOTM" band.  Cauldron played with no mishaps.  Phobia played with no mishaps.  Then Goatwhore played and all hell broke loose.  A really cool kid hanging from a pipe on the ceiling decided to kick a sprinkler off.  Filthy looking black water erupted from everywhere and within minutes the room was flooded.  Everyone scrambled to get the equipment out before it was destroyed.  When everything was loaded back into the trailer, it was decided that Municipal Waste would not be paid unless they played in another larger room in the building.  So all the gear went back up the elevator.  By this point they weren't charging at the door anymore so all the kids who paid to get in invited their poor friends and before long there was a lineup all the way around the building.  This actually turned out to be one of the best shows so far.  During load-out Ian tripped over a wire on the trailer and fell on his knee which is currently purple and twice as large as his other knee.


The Meridian floods, and a lineup of freeloaders

Tuesday, Nov. 10 - New Orleans, LA

Today was our first day off.  We stopped in New Orleans for the day and parked at an RV lodge.  When we got out of the bus we saw we were parked next to the Mastodon, Dethklok and High on Fire buses.  Everyone did laundry and showered.  Cauldron's laundry took the longest because someone didn't empty the lint trap.  We decided to do some exploring and came across a voodoo shop.  There was a giant altar covered with skulls about 20 different signs saying "DO NOT TOUCH THE ALTAR UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.  EXTREMELY BAD LUCK.  YOU WILL BE CURSED."  The first thing Jason did was walk up and start prodding things on it.  The old bag behind the counter freaked out and her eyes started rolling back in her head.  We took off and then joined up with MW at a bar around the corner.  It was day off mania at this bar with guests ranging from the High on Fire boys to the lads from Phobia (who didn't even have the day off!), some were even in disguise because they are so famous. 


Chris and Jason with Santa Claus,
Chris and Phil wonder why the clothes isn't drying

Ryan wasn't feeling well and then found out his friends he was with all day in Orlando had the old H1N1.  He was promptly escorted to the hospital where it was determined he did not have the H1N1.  Later on Cauldron went to  Coop's diner next to the bar where they were served jambalaya on the house.  Maybe something was wrong with it but it tasted pretty good.  Ian and Jason headed back to the bus to hang out with the bus because it os so expensive that we are trying to get our money's worth and listen to tunes while everyone else headed over to the Melt Banana show down the street.


Monday, Nov. 9 - Tampa, FL

A few people got up to take showers at the hotel since we were still in Orlando.  Ian and Chris walked back to the bus around 10:30 to find that it had already left.  So then they had to run back to the hotel to make sure they didn't miss it again.  Jason was the last one out of the shower and it didn't look like Mike the driver was too impressed.  The drive to St. Petersberg outside Tampa was only a few hours and by the time we got there it was getting really shitty out with that hurricane just around the corner.  Everyone loaded in with some help from the State Theater staff.  Phobia showed up last and threw a smoking tire that they blew out into the parking lot.  This was basically your standard GIG, including Jason passing out somewhere uncomfortable.


MW unleash their backdrop, Jason catches some sleep

Sunday, Nov. 8 - Orlando, FL

Apparently we blew two tires on the trailer last night, but Sarge could have just been making that up as we all slept through it and woke up in Orlando anyway. We rocked off the nearest sports bar to rock a few bar burgers before load in. Gig was pretty rad, I think the thrashamania crowd are starting to get us.

The party never ends with the Goatwhore boys. Immediately after the gig Sammy commanded us to the van to finish a bottle of jagermeister with him. I knew this was going to be a bad idea as jagermeister in Nottingham a few weeks ago is still fresh in my mind (although I barely remember). Anyways, this ended in a white metal vs black metal war on the bus with the Goatwhore boys. I guess we won cause Saint eventually scared Sammy off the bus. Apparently we went out for pizza after this, according to Ian's pictures anyway, but I don't remember, so I'll let Ian take it from here...


White metal and black metal brothers

After the white metal war, we all headed over to a bar down the street.  Jason was passed out in the bus, so we figured it would be safe to leave him alone.  They were id'ing at the bar, so Chris left in search of pizza.  On his way to the pizzeria, who should he see passed out on a street corner next to a bum, but our very own Jason.  Later on I headed over to the pizza place and found Chris and Jason ordering dollar beers and a couple slices.  Jason was heading downhill pretty fast.  There's not much to explain as you can see from the pictures.  As he slid off his seat onto the floor, all the wiggers in the joint jumped at their chance for a photo op.  Jason was escorted off the premises shortly after and thrown in his bunk.


Before and after


Saturday, Nov. 7 - Atlanta, GA

We woke up to more bus maneuvering outside the venue in Atlanta.  Ian and Louis got out to block traffic so the bus could be backed in.  The line of 15 cars on either side weren't impressed with a couple longhairs holding up their day.  Everyone split up in different directions to find food.  Dave MW drummer and Sean stage guy rode their bikes down to a chili cookoff, while Cauldron, Ryan and LandPhil went in search of a record store called Wax Facts.  It was a long walk, and not really worth it.  The guy behind the counter said there was no metal section, but that there was a bin of "cheap cheesy shit" on the floor.  We knew if there was anything to be found, it would be in this bin.  Ryan flipped through while Jason and Ian looked on waiting to pounce.  There wasn't anything special so the boys hit the AOR racks.  Ryan scored a sweet Limahl "Neverending Story" 12" and a $1 Hard and Heavy vid for the bus.  Later on Ian went back to the bin and found a sealed Black Roses soundtrack that was stuck to the back of one of five Chrome Molly LP's. J decided to try his luck on a third flip through the bin, but only to find another Krokus LP. Its Krokus mania here in the states, so get used to it! 


The boys scour the racks, Ryan & Limahl
Phil and Chris had disappeared by this point so Ian, Jason and Ryan hit up a restaurant and then headed back to the bus.  Chips were eaten and interviews were to be done, and before long it was time to load in.  The show was fucking great.  The highlight of the evening probably was when a 400 pound guy got up on stage during MW's set and bent over, spreading his cheeks for the delightment of the crowd.  On this particular tour, Jason is growing a moustache in order to keep all the ladies away.  So far it seems to be working.  More news to come on that.





Thursday, Nov. 5th / Friday, Nov. 6 - Toronto and Richmond to Raleigh, NC


660 Richmond St. and shitty weather in upstate NY

We get up early Thursday morning to attach the trailer to Jason's car so we can get our gear to Richmond in style. Had to get some documents signed at the border and listened to the border guard's stories of Pearl Jam passing through back in the day. The boys were crammed into a truck with Eddie Vedder behind the wheel. Missed a couple exits on the way down and got caught in a blizzard in New York. Ian and Chris shared navigating duties while Jason drove. It all went pretty smooth until we got to the red light that Jason didn't see. He jammed the brakes on at the last second and we rocked out to a masive 30 foot skid! As we approached the busy intersection Jason's potential last words were "SHIT WE'RE GOING TO DIE" followed by "SATAN'S FUCK" and then "COCK DECAY" with a few jabs to the steering wheel.