You know...I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS COMMEN SENSE!!! Californian's gee whiz

 

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also have to add that if you go to where the bartender is, you'll probably get served faster!  Don't wait at the farthest area away from any of us and expect us to skip over everyone else to serve you.  If you're that far awy, you'll just have to wait until we move down the line to you.

And, just because you are a regular, you still should never yell across the bar that you need a drink!

 

So many rules, so little time!

MTZ can kick your city's ass!

Nick White rules!

XOXO,

Sarah Baker

 

 

fuck you. I do what I want...
 

Can I save a couple bucks by giving you my flask to make the drink with? j/k

 

Someone once pointed out to me the fact that there seems to be a micro-economy in the service industry. Restaurant workers take their tip money out to bars and clubs at night and give it to the bartenders, who promptly return it to the waiters and waitresses the next day at lunch. The cycle is almost self-sufficient and is mutually beneficial. Knowing the pain of waiting on customers, each group tips the other well and never raises a fuss. These people do not need to be educated. The rest of you do.

Many of us have stood in a noisy, crowded bar and asked, "What's a person got to do to get a drink around here?" Well, you're about to find out. Here are some Do's and Don'ts that will keep the relationship between the bartender and bar patron running smoothly.

DON'TS

Fail to have your money ready

We're waiting on you. Everyone else is waiting on us. Therefore, by the Transitive Property of Equality, everyone is waiting on you. Rule #1: Have your shit together. Not only will following Rule #1 get you served quicker in a bar, it's a good general rule to adopt in life and is especially helpful in Central American border crossing scenarios.

Whistle

This is an absolute No-No. You whistle at dogs and pretty ladies, not people you expect to serve you.

Wave money

Oh, you've got a dollar!! I'll be right over!! Hopefully I won't break an ankle in my fevered rush to get you your "curz lite." Well, at least you're not breaking the next rule.

Yell out the bartender's first name

There's something deeply psychologically disturbing about hearing your name called out, turning around and seeing a complete stranger. That's one of the reasons strippers use stage names.

Say "make it strong!" or "put a lot of liquor in it"

Oh, you're one of the rare drinkers that like their drink strong! When you say this, you're assuming I make weak drinks (which is insulting) and you're assuming that I'll stiffen this one up for my new best buddy, you. This is the best way to get a weak drink.

Give the ever-expanding drink order

You want a Bud. I go get it. I come back and now you want a Margarita. Okay, no prob. I come back, and (oh yeah!) now you want a shot of Tequila, too. You really could have told us this all at once. See Rule #1.

Pull the redirect (or the bait 'n' switch)

Usually used after the money wave or the whistle, this is when the gentlemen passes his turn to the lady behind him. Yeah, um, don't do that, okay? Chances are she's not ready, and your weak attempt at chivalry just cost you your turn. See you in 30 minutes.

Try the confused, lost look

This is usually accompanied by the question "What kind of beer y'all got?" while looking at all the beers we have. You did know you were in a bar, right? You didn't just appear here, did you? Refer to Rule #1.

Order High Maintenance shooters

Example: "Lemme get an Alabama Slammer, a Red Snapper, two Kamikazes, a Buttery Nipple and a Lemon Drop." Usually followed by a small tip. People, these shooters are fine by themselves, but there are multiple steps involved with each one. Translation: Time Sink. You may get them this time, but you'll probably be waited on last the next time we see your face. Here's a clue as to whether or not you're high maintenance; if two bartenders are working and they see you, and they flip a coin and the loser comes over to take your order, pretty good chance you're high maintenance.

Assume we know you're in the band

We know, we know, you're gonna be really famous, but you're not there yet, tiger. Tell us you're in the band and which band you're in. By the way, if you are in a band and get free/reduced drink prices, feel free to tip, as most bartenders are also in bands! It's not like we don't know how it is.

Assume we know you period

Unless you've followed the first "Do" rule below, we don't remember you. You are one of a thousand faces for us, and when you point at an empty glass or a beer bottle that's invariably facing away from us, your attempt at a shortcut backfires. Tell us what you want.

Apologize for sucking

Don't apologize for not tipping. Acknowledging that you suck is not the same as not sucking. Oh, and don't say "I'll get ya next time." We know all about you.

Assume soft drinks are free

Are they free at McDonald's? Are they free at Wal-Mart? Are they free anywhere? I blame M.A.D.D. for this myth.

Put pennies and nickels in the tip jar

We don't want that crap in our pockets any more than you do. We don't have anything smaller than quarters. Have you ever ordered a drink that cost $3.17?

Be "The Microbrew Aficionado"

Usually a pseudo-hippy who can't tip a quarter but can't bring himself to drink "schwag," and who has to sample some new berry-wheat-harvest-ale that he heard about at Burning Man. "Do you have the new Vernal-Equinox Special Welcome-Fest?" "Does Anyone?" Here's your Newcastle. Go.

Be "The Daddy Warbucks"

Dressed in classic day-trader wear, this loud, boisterous guy smokes cigars and orders Martinis and generally exudes an air of money. Until the tip. We hate you.

Be a "Whiney Baby"

Under no circumstances should you ever whine to a bartender when asked to see your ID. Our jobs depend on them, and when we spot a fake/expired ID, don't argue; we've seen and heard it all a million times before, and it will get you absolutely nowhere. If you "don't have one" or "forgot it," forget it; you don't belong out on the town in the first place. That's the law, plain and simple. If we don't have the law, the terrorists win. You don't want the terrorists to win, do you? Bring your ID. Remember Rule #1, from a minute ago?

DO'S

Tip

Tip heavy right off the bat, and you're the first person we aim for every time you come up to the bar. Did you get that? Go back and read it again. The word will spread to the other bartenders and you'll be treated like a prince. It will pay off in better drinks and the occasional free one.

Be patient

All you really need to do to get waited on is make eye contact. We see you, and we'll get to you before the guy right next to you waving money and whistling. Remember, this isn't insulin we're passing out here. If you really need the drink that bad, you've got a problem to address, Jack. The meek shall inherit the bar.

Be an attractive female

As in life, this just goes far.

If this comes across as a little petty, remember: bartenders are a jaded lot.
 

thank god!!!!! from a fellow bartender.

 

forgive me if it sounds like i'm being a dick, because i'm not. i'm genuinely asking:

if you see a dollar as the "standard" tip as if that's a given, does that mean you do a "standard" job (and by that i mean...do your job) and just expect to be tipped? it kind of negates the point of a tip. if that's the attitude, just raise the drink prices.
tips are earned. and don't tell me how good of a tipper you are, because you don't tip your doctor. you don't tip the checkout girl at safeway. you don't tip the guy at 7-eleven. and they're all doing their job. and haven't they been as nice as you are to customers?
i'm a great tipper. i'm an overtipper. a tip for bad service from me is at the lowest 18%.
and let's look at a buck a drink. so if someone gets a drink that's 4 bucks (do they exist anymore?) you expect them to give you 25% of the cost of what they're buying. and most people it's per drink.
wow...
i'm in the wrong line of work. i need something where i take it as a given that i get extra money just for doing the job i'm supposed to do. (and let's face it: people at every job at times go out of their way and do extra things, and you don't tip them. the wrong people are tipped. tip your doctor, the person who really can save your life. tip a cop because the way he drives by makes you feel safe. or he nodded and according to your logic, that's him being nice so he deserves some scratch).

just a thought.

 

You have made valid points but doctors don't get paid minimum wage and if cops were to take tips, I think that would be considered bribery. Bartenders and food servers make their money through tips. Now look, I don't expect tips from everyone. But when you want your cocktail to be stronger or you want to get served before everyone else that's waiting for a drink, a dollar is not going to cut it. The truth is, bartenders are gonna serve the customers that are the better tippers first. Then it trickles down to the non- tipper. I'm sorry if this disturbs or upsets you but this is how the industry works. I appreciate it that you are among the good tippers! I hope this helps make more sense.
 

You know what...it does make more sense. But at the same time, it didn't need to. Because I reread it and I think the first time I went into it assuming the wrong tone (one of the joys of the internet age). And like I said in my post, I really wasn't trying to be a dick. Just more of a devil's advocate thing. So I do apologize for seeming dickish.

I've worked like every non-management position in a bar or club you could think of, so I know where you're coming from. And I know I have often said myself re: cheap/rude/dismissive people: if you can't afford to tip, then you shouldn't be out paying for drinks in the first place, because apparently, your finances are really slim.

To me, the most repulsive thing about the way people treat service industry workers is that they forget that while the person's job may be to "serve" you, they don't work FOR you. just because they're paying for the food and how it gets to them doesn't mean they get to order or belittle the individual.

It's like a poor waiter or busser who gets yelled at when something's cooked wrong. Or even in retail: In Target the other day a woman was going off on some poor kid about the return policy and everything she had problems with in no way had anything to do with this kid, nor any way for this kid to pass along to anyone helpful.

By the way...I moved to WC about a month ago, finally was able to go out for my first time last night, and drove around like an idiot looking for your place and could not find it at all. (kept finding the damn US Bank, though).

Hopefully I'll have better luck if I try tonight. My girlfriend and dog aren't moving out until August and I'm starting to go stir crazy.

 

If you venture out and look for us again, it's 2580 N Main St. by 3rd Ave. You'll see the Saroor Indian Cuisine. Our entrance is behind the building, down the driveway. Hope you can make it down!