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Category: Blogging
 Lovey-dovey, over the top, hot passionate love, is wanted by some but not by all. Some boys swear by it, where other boys swear they won't adhere to the cutesy commands of their other half. Valentines day was approaching. Last year he blew my black patent 4-inch stiletto's off, but this year I wasn't so sure. To insure I wouldn't be disappointed, I not-so-subtly hinted to my guy that Vday is approaching - and questioned whether or not we are doing something. With this thank-god-I-got-it-out-of-me feeling I got by asking, I in turn gave him the what-the-fuck-do-I-do-to-meet-her-high-expectations feeling. With relief for one comes anxiety for the other.
Now Valentines day has come and gone and I'm sure plenty of you don't want to talk about or think about cupid or hearts or cinnamon flavoured anything for another 12 months, so I won't discuss my day, but what I will talk about is as simple as this:
When somebody expresses a want of theirs that you know eventually you'll need to meet (out of guilt, because you don't want them to dump you, because you want to see them happy, etc.) then meet it, let them have their satisfaction (after all, that is what they're seeking, isn't it?) and don't bring it up again.
Either way, you are doing the action; doing it, then complaining about it the entire time takes away from the actions and leaves the person even more disappointed than if you didn't give in in the first place. Are you following?
Perfect example: Your girlfriend wants to go out for a fancy dinner. You think its a waste of money - why go out for dinner when you can make a perfectly good meal at home, not have to leave your house, pay for parking, put on pants, etc. - but she seems pretty dead set on getting out of the house and having some bonding time. You express your disinterest "I really don't know why you always need to go to such expensive places; why not go for dinner with your girlfriends? (because I wanted to go with you ass hole)", but give in because at the end of the day you want her to be happy (and you want to prevent the waterworks, the argument, and the possible rejection in the bedroom later in the night).
Next scene: You're at the restaurant and she's in heaven. She's sipping wine, smiling, looking gorgeous, looks at you thinking this isn't so bad, and you look back and say "I could've made a better steak then this on my own barbeque? Why did we have to come here? The food isn't that good, its expensive...as your words continue, her stomach turns. She holds back her eyes from wandering and lo and behold her expectations, though seemingly met (you think 'I'm there with her, aren't I?) are instead immediately destroyed. Though you can apologize you still brought it up again, despite your actions and you have lost all credibility. Time to get ready for the couch, and lets face it, after attempting to make her happy, and ending up on the couch, I'm sure you'd feel even more frustrated then before.
So all I'm saying, if you can't see the obvious in the scenario, is if you do something, you are not at liberty to complain about it after the fact. It takes away everything you did, your faking it, your compromising, your doing what you didn't want to do to begin with, the works. Us ladies convinces ourselves that if you say yes, you do it because you genuinely care about us, and though we know you'd rather be eating leftovers in front of the TV, we like to think that if you agree to come with us to dinner, a dance class, a play, to our parents, etc., that you will do so and enjoy it.
Fake enjoyment, hold back resentment and I promise you, she will give you that in return.
2:55 AM
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