As I sit here writing this, I keep hoping that the phone will ring with good news; the SilverDocs festival announcements are coming out at the end of the week, but from the experience of our past festival rejections I know I'm only a day or two away from one of the generic "We've received more entries than ever this year, with the quality running extremely high we couldn't find a spot to schedule your film." emails. I know that if we'd gotten in I would have received that phone call by now. But the slimmest glimmer of hope remains until that fateful email arrives.
My first film eRATicate was accepted into the first three festivals I entered and won two awards at the very first festival it played. Since then it's been all downhill. The Turning Point is racking up rejections faster than I can count. It's near a dozen (it'd be too depressing to know the exact number), most of them sending out the stock email, and a few of them not even bothering with that. It's infuriating when you send in a $20-40 entry fee and they can't take a few seconds out of their day to let you know your film won't be playing. But far more hurtful is the mounting feeling of failure.
I believe that The Turning Point is a good film, I've watched enough documentaries and been involved in the making of enough films to know that. It is in no way a perfect film, but it is a strong one. Maybe I'm too close to the film and I'm deluding myself, but the reviews and comments we've received mirror my own thoughts. But even if the film isn't as good as I believe I still don't understand why we're not getting in. It amazes me that we're getting rejected from festivals where I've seen awful films; films that are incompetently made, that barely understand the language of film, ones that I know are currently showing in place of ours.
My first guess is that the film is too personal; added in with the fact that there is not a single recognizable name attached to it. But that doesn't completely explain it, because I know of many films that are in the same position that are playing plenty of festivals. My other guess is that the film doesn't play the way people are expecting. It's not your standard documentary; it's got sort of an experimental feel in places; that it plays with the line between documentary and narrative in some ways. But Tarnation comes to mind in that vein, and it was far more experimental than mine... but then it comes back to Gus Van Sant attaching his name to that one. I've tried unsuccessfully to get a few name filmmakers to even watch it, but most won't accept unsolicited films.
I feel like I'm in a catch-22. I can't get into any festivals because the film is too small. And I can't get anyone to pay any attention to the film because we're not getting into any festivals. I know that film festivals aren't the end-all be-all for indie films these days. With the advent of do-it-yourself DVD distribution labels, it's possible to make your money back through internet sales. And with our extremely small budget it shouldn't take too many DVDs to break even. But it really hurts knowing that I put three years of love and all my talent into this film and nobody wants to show it. I keep thinking that'll change with every entry form I fill out, but being a pessimist, my good faith is quickly running out.