There is one moment in my life that will always retain it's emotion and effectiveness: I was alone in my S-10 on a cold winter night, riding down the interstate with tears in my eyes. I was trailing a speeding ambulance. I was begging and pleading with God -- don't let this happen. My two month old son, who had just become the highlight of everyday of my life, was somewhere in that ambulance. I knew that he was very sick, and that he had a condition that could be life-threatening, brain damaging, or probably at the very least, deafening. He was such a tiny, innocent little boy. He giggled. He smiled. He was God's precious gift to us. He didn't deserve this. How could God do this??

God had mercy on us. He didn't let what happened to his son happen to our son. And for that, I am so grateful.

I see what I would have missed out on had Brayden not made it through that illness. SO MUCH. It's unbelieveable how much. Even on the most terrible days, I can come home from work and he will bring a big smile to my face. All the frustrations of the day fade away, at least for one moment.

I look forward to Landon growing up as well, and having the same ability to interact. But there will always be a special feeling for Brayden. Not that I will love him more, but there is a little spot in everyone's heart for a helpless, hurting life. And Brayden was that helpless tiny life.

I remember when we gave Jenny's cat a bath and discovered that he had tons of fleas eating away at him underneath all that crazy fur. He had to have been miserable for awhile at that point. It was a CAT, so the level of sympathy was limited, but there was always this strange feeling of protectiveness for that dumb cat afterwards.

I hope I never have to follow an ambulance again.. and I can't wait to tell Brayden all about his little ride when he gets older.