Whomever said: "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" was probably volunteering for Planned Parenthood.
Whomever said: "The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach" never met my ex girlfriend. She prefers stabbing you through the lungs.
Whomever said: "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" was more than likely smuggling it across the boarder.
Whomever said: "Hunger is the best sauce" probably never went hungry.
Whomever said: "What goes around, comes around" spends too much time watching NASCAR.
Whomever said: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" never had to pay a prostitute for that act.
Whomever said: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" never lived in Minnesota.
Whomever said: "Beauty is only skin deep" hasn't volunteered for the burn ward!
Whomever said: "The pen is mightier than the sword" never had to sign his name with bloody, dismembered stumps.