Hello Dear Myspacer,

I know I haven't been ah-bloggin' and I want to apologize for the inconvieniance this may have caused you.  I know you have been at wits end and suffering from mass hysteria and withdrawls from my opinions. So let me began to explain what has been taking up my oh-so-sacred ah-bloggin' time so that you may come to an understanding that it has nothing to do with the assumption that I do not wish to share with you my deepest, utermost, inward, personal, and intimate thoughts, because we all know I have no emotional filter. (Wink wink nudge nudge and a raise of the eyebrow along with a sarcastic smirk)

My husband Josh is finally home! And let me tell you it is one big wad of joy-adjustment-a little bit of "you better pick up those, cause I am not!-opportunity to be patient, gracious, understanding, along with excess and unlimited amount of hugging and kissing. Let's get one thing straight ok?! I LOVE MARRIAGE! I am honest when saying it is hard, sometimes WE make it harder than it should be, but it is a beautiful thing. Josh is the most supa fly dope man I have ever met in my life. And I am humbled by his love for me, I am stubborn and I can be the biggest smart buttcheek ever. But he was made for me and I for him and us for Christ. Word.

Music:This part of my life has been surreal. I have made amazing friends, Carly, Sarah Beth, Jordan,Joel, Cameron, Alana, the peeps from Ephraim. Ive met some amazing musicians that i never would have dreamed to have met MXPX! And I have been sick, stinky, tired, dirty, and I have loved every moment of it. Thank you for everyone who has told me they loved my music, my lyrics, my belching on stage, I do this to serve you and to let you know you aren't alone in this life. "He is real and honest, the One true thing in a world full of lies, He is refreshing, he is awake and alive, He is the strength I need." I am not in this for my own fame, or glory, or to make money, or sell a bunch of cds, all that is indeed fun for me and I am grateful. But if I never book another show, please know I do this so you can know how much God has done for me and how much, if He could love a jerk like me, how much He loves YOU.

Job: I got a new one. I am officailly on Younglife Staff. If you don't know what Young Life is you should check it out and GET INVOLVED IN IT!

Struggles: They are there, my life is still pretty rough sometimes. More than ever I have learned to let God deal with my pain, my hurt, my worry, my doubt. I trust Him with those feelings, and He tells me I am ok for feeling them. People think you can't feel those things, like they are wrong but they are not. We can cry and feel pain, Jesus, Himself wept over the loss of a friend, so we can surely cry over our losses. Jesus was betrayed by His friends, so we can surely feel that hurt when our friends do the same. Jesus came froma pretty messed up family tree, so then, if Jesus Christ had a messed up family, we don't need to feel bad about ours. We don't need to try and cover that up. Just lift it up. Let Him show you how good He is. I am still learning all of this, but everytime I let Him, He truley does hold me close.

Useless Questions and comments:

I was waiting for my haircut appt today and reading the trashy magazines that only serve the purpose of making me feel fat, pale, and out of style in my brand new clothes.....and I came across an ad with a girl in the bath tub with high heels. What the freak?! Noone I know hangs out in a bathtub with gold 8 inch high heels on. The I turn the page to see the newest hair styles only to expose my eyes to victims of a lawn mower malfunction. Noone I know has zebra colored hair with an aligator sticking out of it. Jeff Corwin wouldn't even be stoked on that. My point....those magazines serve no purpose on the earth but to kill trees with thousands of perfume ads then to tell us to GO GREEN!

sorry for the typos...but im not fixing them.

For now, I am peacing out.

I love you. Look to Jesus.

-erika