I being the political juggernaut that I am, see a solution to the problem that is the state of Utah. As a matter of fact, i will not capitalize the "U" in your name for this entire letter.

I am working vigorously on a a new prop that will hit the ballots in 2012. It's called Prop "Yourapieceofshit" (it's French). It calls for the complete leveling of your pathetic state to create additional parking for Colorado and Nevada residents. I know what you're thinking, "Will there be a ball room for my 87 kids to fromp around in during contruction?" The answer to that is no utah. We simply cannot afford it. Questions regarding safety have also come to light. I can assure you utah, we will only start in areas where "Zach and Miri Make a Porno" were banned. Hmm, that was the entire state... Anywho, from what I understand, you have Saints with Ladders to help you climb to safety.

Also, the measure includes a reshaping of utah. Cause, seriously, you look like an overweight Tetris piece. I'm thinking we go with something cooler. Like an Xbox controller. But i will be open to a PS3 or even a Wii controller. Or even a chick posing on a Harley.

I hope you weirdees are happy that you're worthless state has taken the the crown of crappiest state. Previously held by Alabama. But from what i hear they are planning a comeback.

If you're a friend of mine that's mormon, get off your bike. You shouldn't be riding a bike and perusing the internet at the same time. Unsafe.

Yours truly,
kassem g