It's 6:45 am and I have yet to find sleep. I went to bed six hours ago having taken the requisite 4 Tylenol pm.... and hour by hour I lay motionless in the dark endlessly waiting for my sleep to arrive. It does not. I stare at the clock. Pissed off, stood up for a much anticipated rendezvous, I toss and I turn.
How could my sleep do this to me? Did it come while I wasn't looking? Take one look at me and spin around on its heals?
Perhaps someone more deserving has been awarded my sleep instead. Chosen over me, instead of me, in spite of me.
Was I not kind to my sleep? Was it I who chased it away?
Wasn't I good to my sleep?
Did not I  set the mood for my sleep and I?
With my Egyptian cotton sheets, and down pillows, comforter, and feather bed?
 Perhaps I should post a craigslist  'missed connection', in case it was by some accident, or something beyond my sleep's control.
Could that be it? Did my sleep lose its way? Is it lying in a ditch somewhere? Should I be worried? Should I be calling someone, I wonder? And who might the proper authorities be to help me reunite with my sleep. . . I'm just being silly, I'm sure it's nothing. No need to work myself up like this, right? It's just hard not to take it personal you know? Being stood up like this?
I came off as too needy. I'll bet that's it. Too eager. Maybe I should have pretended to be less interested in sleep, played hard to get. Maybe that's what turns my sleep on.
I just get so excited, you know? "To sleep perchance to dream. . ." and all that. It's hard not to get my hopes up. That this might be the night that I finally find the sleep for me.... The one that I have been waiting for. The one to finally sleep me away.
You know what? I'll bet it was me...I'm so scatter-brained sometimes, I'm sure it was me, and not my sleep.  I must have gotten the time wrong? right? I really should write these things down. Surely it wouldn't be so cruel as to abandon me like this. I mean that would be a nightmare right? Not being good enough for sleep?
Could that. . .? No that's crazy right? There must be that one special sleep out there for everyone. That's a little childish,I know, but, I guess I've always thought of it that way.
Maybe it's my expectations that are too high? Scared my sleep off? A performance anxiety kind of thing? I mean I did have high hopes. Could it be it is my sleep that thinks that it is not good enough for me? That would be a first, right? I mean it has got to know that I am not that picky?!?!
I'm sure it's nothing... I always overreact like this...maybe it's just late... that could be, right?
I'll just sit here with my coffee and wait.... I'm sure my sleep will show up sooner or later.