Welcome to the Studio of Unwanton Fetish.



Miss Robey, as you are about to commence shooting, how do you prepare yourself?"
"Well, I like to start the day with a long, steamy bath, followed by a long, steamy jamming session. It really tightens the pores. And, uh,...such."


Of course. And, Miss Scoppie, we understand you will be in control of the majority of this photoshoot. What's the secret of a great photo?
"Ahhhh well, it's all about subtlety. Without balance, any photo can look lopsided and uneven. Also, it helps to get your subject heavily drunk beforehand."

Well, let's begin, shall we?


Emma Simpson, one of the worlds leading lawyers/models, gives us her "Drama Glare".
"This is a look I perfected last weekend, with my husband."


Simpson has famously been the face of Lusshaphuc Chocolate for three years now, showing the world that you can eat chocolate and look like a Goddess at the same time.


"I always like to give a good impression on my first photoshoot with a new photographer. Of course, I've been working with Midge(Scoppie) for years now, but it's fun to pretend. Mmmm."


"This is my "Limbering" face. It always relaxes my facial muscles before I work."


Scoppie takes the helm."You are a small, ugly puppy, lost in a fairground! Give me passion, darlings!!"


"You are a, a GLADIATOR! Yes! You are Russel Crowe in the throws of rage!!"


"Now for a deep one. I want to see you plundering the depths of human emotion. Think about what you may have for dinner tonight!! Think!!"


"It's a rather In to be of the Emo cult these days, and it's important to reach out to as many people as we can. Whether we can see them through our forcefully-combed fringes or not."


"A personal touch is always nice..."


"...even the photographer in charge can dabble about with this style of photography, going to the lengths of taking photos of themselves, as you can see from this photo of me."


"Now you are Jack and Rose! JACK-AND-ROOOOSE >:C"



"I asked the girls to act out an animal of their choice. Emma chose an Angler fish...Charlie chose a porpoise. Effective, non?"


"This is one of my favourite takes from this shoot. Observe the subtle portrayel of chaos from Simpson, the unabashed oblivious look from Robey....spectacular."


"Ah, a nice, natural shot. It's important to keep these too, to prove that you're not working with robots. Ahaha! Just joking. Ahahaha."



"And a happy-sad one for the kids. They go crazy for that shit."


"You, you have swallowed a lemon! I want citrus-induced faces, ladies!! BIG LEMON!!"


"We also like to portrey imagery of other profesions, such as the intense, leg-grabbing news reporter..."


"....and the intense, crotch-grabbing clown. Very popular with the gentlemen readers."


"Another favourite from the shoot. I like to call this 'Sexual Tension'."


"Simpson shows her true colours in this shot. You can probably tell by Robey's attempt to ignore her. I am joking."


"The same could be said of this photo, only vice-versa, of course."


"Improvisation can be the key to perfection."


"Gangster style is something that the youth of today lap up like whore on her knees."


"Robey is especially apt at displaying this....'label', so to speak."


"Simpson hasn't quite understood the gangster clique yet. There will be improvements."


"Robey decided she wanted to experiment with the camera, and who am I to deny her that pleasure."


Robey takes the camera in hand and takes over the shoot, an experienced photographer herself.
"EVERYBODY SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP."


"I want more ANGER, here. Simpson, IMPOSE YOUR WILL!!"


"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying this."


"Here's a shot that Simpson came up with herself. I'm not sure what it means, but it sure is popular with the lads in Printing and Developing."


"Oh lord, who did this photo happen? I'm telling you, anything can occur in this bloody studio."


"Simpson has always wanted to join a gay pride parade, but she never has the courage. That, and she's blisteringly straight."


"This would be a nice photo, if only Scoppie didn't take on the characteristics of a rodent so very often."


"The only drawback of working with these two is the occasional....accident. Sometimes, I......I find it hard to sleep."

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One of Simpson's aquaintances joins in.


"Fo' shizzel! Yar, oh yar."


Sam Simpson, Emma's spouse, puts a stop to all that malarky.




D'awwww.

the end :} x