And you probably thought I was slacking.

Me?  SLACKING?

Unlikely.

It just took me a few days to write this much.

Sorry we’re going into this picture-less.  I didn’t take many pictures this weekend because others in my group were taking TONS and I assumed I’d just get photos from them…but they have lives and are busy and haven’t been able to send me anything yet.  Seeing as how I’m relying on their good will, I don’t feel that I should pester them to hurry up purely for the sake of my blog, so I’m going to go ahead and publish this photo-free.  But when I do get some pictures, I’ll try to post them!

Also, this is in segments because it’s so long.  When you get to the bottom, just click the link for the next entry. 

Also, this is really uneven and stream-of-consciousness.  Long though it may be, it's not a work of literary greatness.  Just FYI. ;)

And here we go!


If I had to sum up the weekend in one word, it would be…

MILEY.

How long have we been talking about Homecoming?  Our 5-year reunion?  The first time in FIVE YEARS that all of us would be together in one place and it would be just like college all over again?  (Maybe…sort of…)

Kara was the first to arrive.  She pulled into my driveway right between “Community” and “Parks and Recreation” in NBC’s Thursday night comedy line-up and I immediately dragged her back out the door again so we could hit up the liquor store. 

And then we came home and we drank. 

We didn’t drink as a nostalgic throwback to our college years (because oddly enough we drank very little back then) but instead we drank to the weekend ahead…to the lives we now lead…to the youth and innocence lost in the past 5 years…

Hear hear!

[True story…I was 20 years old the first time I drank a beer.  I was sitting IN MYCOLOGY CLASS, sipping on some homebrew we made in lab.  Remember this.]

But because I’d rather not get into what was said or done while we were taking pineapple vodka shots in my living room (let’s just say that Kara’s grad school friends have REALLY bizarre taste in porn), we’re going to skip ahead to Friday now.  That’s when the party started anyway!

THE PARTY IN THE USA that is. 

For oh yes.  Miley Cyrus was the soundtrack to our weekend. 

Back when we were in college, it was all Hilary Duff.  Did we, at the age of 21, really drive all the way out to Target at 9:00 pm in the middle of the week to buy her Metamorphosis CD?  Yes.  Yes, we did.  We were also there opening weekend for A Cinderella Story…and sometimes I’d watch Lizzie Maguire when I should have been studying.  Oh, did we love that Hilary Duff!

But where is she now?  Does anyone even know?  (I’m guessing she’s wherever Miley Cyrus is going to be five years from now.)  Fickle consumers that we are, we’ve ditched the Duffster and stayed with the times, now enjoying the sugary-sweet, overproduced, canned pop masterpieces that Miley[’s team of handlers] is churning out.  7 Things, See You Again, The Climb, Party in the USA…these four songs were heard over and over and over…and over and over…and over again this weekend. 

Luckily for us, there’s no such thing as hearing Party in the USA too many times!  (Well, maybe there is for Kathryn.  Sorry, Kathryn.)

But back to our Friday morning…our first stop was Bartlett, where I dropped off my recycling and then picked up some towels and my mail from my parents’ house.  I was thrilled beyond measure that my “I Want a Public Option” bumper sticker had finally arrived.  I hurriedly stuck it on the back window of my car, but in my excitement I failed to center it correctly. 

I will never, ever, ever get over this.

Then Kara and I went to Target and Davis-Kidd to buy Megan things for the top secret baby shower we were throwing her on Sunday morning (by which point it would no longer be top secret, but we’ll get to that).

And with all of that out of the way, it was time to finally greet the honored guest of the weekend:  our alma mater, Rhodes College. 

Ah, Rhodes.  All elegant buildings and ancient oaks, manicured lawns and an African American security and kitchen staff…  It’s all so very Old South!!  It’s great, though.  It’s a highly nationally ranked, academically challenging college.  Most of the students live on campus and all live by the honor code:  no one cheats, no one steals.  Any student can walk into lunch, drop his backpack off by the door, and no one will touch his things, no matter how long he leaves them unattended.  Professors give take-home tests without fear of students cracking their books to double-check their answers…it’s a great place.

It’s also really fucking expensive.

But one thing you get for your money is good food.  There are two places to eat on campus:  The Lynx Lair, which is over in the gym, and The Catherine Burrow Refectory, which is universally (and affectionately) known as the Rat.  The Rat is the main dining hall and walking into it is like walking into Hogwarts.  The paneled walls are lined with long tables and stained glass windows.  Portraits of deans and professors long gone hang high above your head.  Some of my best memories from college come from the Rat.  Which is precisely why Kara and I decided to eat there for lunch on Friday. 

When we walked up to pay for our meal, the cashier asked where our tickets were.

Cashier:  They should have give you a ticket.

Becky:  Whoa, we get a FREE MEAL?!

Kara:  They just gave us these drink tickets for tonight.

Cashier:  OH!  You’re alumni?!

She thought we were prospective students.  HA!

Back in our day, lunch at the end of the week meant “Fried Chicken Fridays.”  And guess what?  It still does!  Kara and I didn’t have the fried chicken, though; we instead sampled the various hand-made pizzas and had salads from the salad bar.  

We sat down and saw former professors eating alongside of us, just as they would have half a decade ago.  We both had the strange half-formed feeling that at any moment, our classmates would start filing in, done with class and ready to eat.  

But no.  All we saw were other people’s classmates.  Younger people’s classmates.

We walked around campus some more after lunch, and found a copy of the newest Rhodes magazine.  We got really depressed reading the Class Notes section (I wrote a blog about that once!) and commented on who would likely not be making it that weekend based on what they're doing now...

Then we made a quick stop at the mall so I could buy an outfit for the following night.  Afterwards, Kara headed back to campus to talk to a former professor or two and I stayed in my apartment and finished getting everything in order for when the rest of the group arrived later that night.

THREE HOURS LATER...

Crystal and Kathryn flew in an hour apart.  Kathryn got there first and had enough time to change and get ready in the airport bathroom while we waited for Crystal…for there was no rest for us.  It was straight back to Rhodes from the airport!  (Crystal had spent the entire day on a plane in her going out outfit.  You’re a trooper, Crystal!)

Those of you who me know from Jake Watch may remember Crystal from the trips I took to Los Angeles to visit her and Greta (Greta, I am VERY sad to report, wasn't able to make it to our reunion).  The three of us quite famously ate Sprinkles cupcakes one time at Jake’s high school.

But what you may not have known is that Crystal and I spent the first half of 2005 in Ireland with Julia, a fellow 2004 graduate.  The time in Ireland was…interesting?  Actually, it’s probably best not to try to sum up that trip in one word.  It was lots and lots of fun!  It was also dominated by drama as Julia and I spent the bulk of our time together locked in a war over our male roommate, who ultimately chose her over me.  (Ouch.)

Neither Crystal nor I had talked to Julia since we all said goodbye to each other in back in ‘05, but Julia’s name was on the Homecoming registration list so we knew we’d be seeing her.  Sure enough, when we walked into the BCLC (the gym building, which has its own ballroom), the first people we saw were Liz [X] and Abbey [X], both of whom greeted us with the news that Julia was upstairs.

We all walked up to the ballroom, stopped to greet a few other familiar faces along the way, and then made our way inside for the official kickoff of Homecoming: the alumni reception. 

And there was Julia, standing the doorway.

She immediately walked off in the other direction.  (I don’t think she saw us.)

Our group made our way to the alcohol where we were greeted by some more former classmates.  We chatted a bit, got our drinks (my whiskey and Sprite was about 60% whiskey…I wound up only using one of my two drink tickets because I had to drive) and then Crystal and I went to say hi to Julia.

She introduced Crystal and me to her boyfriend with, “These are the girls who were in Ireland with me.”  I wonder how much she’s told him about that time.  I’m guessing she hasn't told him about That One Time, and if I’ve ever told you about That One Time, then you know what I’m talking about.  (If I haven’t told you, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.)

I wasn’t very nice to Julia in Ireland.  She wasn’t very nice to me, either.  We thought we were awesome back then…23, living abroad, brand new college degrees…but what we really were was young and stupid and mean.  I can still be mean.  I’m a much angrier person than I let on sometimes.  Julia found that out first hand.

A photographer came and took our picture right as the three of us were awkwardly and obligatorily exchanging stories of what we’re doing now.  I was secretly glad that we were interrupted before it was my turn to explain where I am in life.  Rhodes spits out grad students, law students, and medical students with wild abandon.  The vast majority of the people I saw this past weekend were working on Ph.D's or had already passed the bar or were otherwise deeply engaged in their long-term academic goals. 

I, on the other hand, am an administrative assistant.  Part-time.  I’m desperately trying to finish a book which I have sent off to four people, three of whom I haven’t been able to get feedback from.  I’m not dating anyone, I don’t live an exciting life, I couldn’t even get the attention of some mid-B-list actor, despite repeated attempts (GOD I AM PATHETIC). 

It’s hard to explain just how unbelievably intimidating it is to admit that to your graduating college class when you went to an academically strenuous school where most of your classmates are pressing ahead with the kind of futures designed to impress anyone who hears about them. 

So thank God I didn't have to say anything, right?  After the photographer took our picture, Crystal and I went to get food.  We sat down at a table with Kara and Kathryn…and then Megan and Jonathan and their friend Justin joined us…and then Jessie, who shared so many Biology labs with me…and Stacy, who went to high school with me and yet led such a different college life than I…and Abbey, who was on the cross-country team and shared so many Rat meals with us, icing her knees over dinner at a time when I knew nothing about what one’s joints feel like after a hard run…

After the reception, we headed over to Celtic Crossing, an (appropriately) Irish bar in Cooper-Young.  Kara and I texted Alex who was stuck in California with the military.  Alex started out with our class at Rhodes but got behind when he joined the marines after September 11 and then got shipped off to Iraq.  I have drunk more beer with Alex than with any other individual on the face of the planet.  Alex and I never dated, but he did date Julia our senior year.  (See how twisted the web can become at a small school??)

Maggie showed up a little later, and so did Kyle.  It was too loud, though, and eventually Kara, Crystal, Kathryn, Jessie, and I headed downtown to the Flying Saucer. 

There was a guy playing pool across from us and he hit on Jessie and then Kathryn and then Kathryn and then Jessie and then Kathryn and then Kathryn.  He had just gotten out of jail (!) and even showed Kathryn his prison ID to prove that he wasn’t making up his story.  He got really upset with our group after a while for not playing with him and he stormed out of the place and stole a glass as he went.  We waited a few minutes to leave because we were scared he might be waiting to kill us in the parking lot or something.

And then we said goodbye to Jessie, and Kathryn, Crystal, Kara and I went back to my place, but not before stopping at Taco Bell.  Then the four of us crammed into my TINY apartment and ate tacos (except for me; I ate a package of saltines because I’m weird), and then we slept the night away…

Click below to continue to Part 2.