Sooooo..
Guess what people? I am OFFICIALLY the worst excuse for a friend... EVER!!!!
I know I should be voted "Most Likely To Chicken Out of Commitment" for sure...
But dayum I should win another award too.. "Most Likely To Lose Two Bestfriends In Less Than Three Months Without Even Trying"
Wow. I feel so.... well you know...

Its like I wanna chug an entire bottle of Patron, take a huge bottle of Grey Goose and pour it all over myself, light a cigarette and ignite myself with the lighter... Yeah that's how I feel right now...
and NO... Ice cream won't make me feel better... Chocolate won't either... Energy drinks won't... Booze won't do the trick... And no a boyfriend or a girlfriend won't make me feel better so don't even say it [I don't even deserve one]...  Right now.. NOTHING can make me feel better.. I'm not exaggerating... I know I'm dramatic, but this time, it's for real...
Not even running from here to the Whole Foods in Madison and back won't make me feel better... sooo.. FUCK IT....

Hey not even Philip Chbeeb and Asuka making it to the Top 20 of So You Think You Can Dance Season 5 is enough to keep a five minute smile on my face...

Twilight can't do it...
so hey... anything I try is FUTILE...

WHY BOTHER?

So yeah... what's making me feel like crap is that I FAILED once again to make the right decision..... Like I said, AGAIN.... same thing I did that made me lose... HIM in the first place... and now... HER....


LONG STORY... not that long... but... I really can't discuss it..... like seriously... She was civilized enough to talk to me and let me know that the friendship's pretty much over... Civilized enough to smoke two last cigarettes with me before walking out of the other door in the opposite direction... So I might as well respect that and not DIVULGE the situation....

If you're reading this right now, thanks for the friendship and putting up with my shit... and I'm sorry.... Sorry that you had to deal with me... Sorry that you even had the misfortune to meet me....