Portland has been the new breath I hoped it would be so far. It’s allowed me alot of time of introspection, examining what I really want, and really allowed me to plan out things better.

Of course, with release there is always the pitfalls. I once again found myself trampled by someone I considered a good friend. Honestly, did I get the words "fuck me over" tattooed on my head and not realize it? There are only so many times this shit can happen to a person in a short period of time without giving up on people all together.

At the end of the day, karma will come back to her, I hope. Sorry I’m younger than you, and haven’t completely fucked up my life like you have? At the end of the day you’re a fucking divorced-shrivelled-husk-of-an-overaged-goth-kid and that’s not my fucking problem. Sloppy seconds? Really? I wouldn’t be talking since I’m not the one chasing boys half my age and getting shot down. No one is going to marry me? Fine. I can accept that you think that, but at least I’m a fucking genuine person, versus a two-faced lying bitch who got her husband to dump her

That kind of outright cruelty and bitchiness only serves to show me that maybe I put myself out there too much for people. I try to be open and approachable, and ultimately, I’ve been destroyed.

There are the few friends I have who I know break the trend, and I love them dearly for that. I just needed to say this. They are the constant good in my life, besides my job, which I love dearly. I won’t let her ruin that for me, not in a second.