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Category: Friends
Loopholes.
Hell, let's just talk about holes. Holes in our minds, holes in our hearts, holes in the fabric of our souls and all the other froufrou poetic bullshit like that.
The last time that I posted on this account, I left open a loophole for me to post on it in the future. That loophole has since been sewn shut. Things happen, things suck. What can you do about it?
It leads me around to how much I hate women. I think in the past I was fairly clear about how I don't have a very high level of respect for them, including myself. I hate when I act girlie, I hate when my actions and reactions are based on a purely hormonal instinct. I simply hate women.
Let's start off with a woman's desire to please. The willingness to bend over backward in the attempt to keep people from hating them, that if a person dares to say that they're not fond of a woman, even if she doesn't know or like that person, she'll still fuss over the circumstances leading up to why.
Who should give that big of a fuck if someone doesn't like you? Oh, and I just love when women put on this grand show that it doesn't, thus proving in their elaborate attempts to showcase how they don't care that in reality it's the only thing that they can think about. People pleasers are generally of the female variety. Over-achievers and Rachel Ray little cloned beams of sunlight.
What the fuck ever.
I hate how women are insanely insecure. Let's hold myself up as a prime example. There is never a point where I ever feel good enough. EVER. I've never felt smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, enough of enough. Even when riding high on a good day, I will go in search of something that proves that I'm really just shit by comparison.
And in the midst of a bad day, I will go in search of punishment, being the glutton that I am for it.
I hate being a girlfriend so much so that I avoid really connecting with a man. I hate the jealousy and feelings of inadequacy that creep up and turn me into a beast from hell, suspicious and catty and mean-spirited. I hate that I don't want to make my boyfriend the center of my world because of the implications of that, how it would give him power and how I hate giving over power and yet my female sensibilities tell me that I should. And then I hate that I seemingly make him the center of my world anyway.
But even moreso, I hate girlfriends. I hate male friends having girlfriends and not being allowed to talk to them. I hate how girlfriends change everything. The way you talk, the way you hang out. I hate that those changes destroy a friendship. I hate having something so great be yanked away. I hate that the compromises that you have to make to try and salvage that friendship turn it into something that makes it a shadow of what it once was.
I hate how hard it is to walk away from that.
I hate that I will eventually get over it. Because I don't want to get over it. That I will eventually forget, that the memory will fade. Because it should never fade. That eventually feelings of nostalgia will appear as a preservation technique of the brain.
And you know what? Nostalgia fucking sucks. I don't want nostalgia. I don't want to look back on my fucking friendships like I look back on how kitschy a David Lee Roth video was. I don't want shit to be reduced to that.
So instead, I hate women. I hate girlfriends. I hate myself.
And I hate fucking loopholes. But at least there are none floating open in the air anymore.
So, to lighten things up after depressing everyone with my lack of loopholes, here are some of the quotes that were in a book Midget recently received. (Thanks Sammy, it finally made it.)
"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you anywhere."
"Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds."
- Albert Einstein
"Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."
- JK Rowling
"The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire."
- Oprah
"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination."
- John Lennon
"If you don't know where you are going, you can never get lost."
- Herb Cohen
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr Suess
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
- Katherine Hepburn
"Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it."
- Tallulah Bankhead. Carry on.
Oh, and on your way out, don't forget to read my latest column and click on the "Digg it!" button at the bottom.
Behold and Embrace the Crappiness!!
2:04 PM
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