Even if I wasn't allergic to cigarette smoke the smell would be enough to drive me away. Once I kissed a guy who smoked. The analogy of licking an ashtray is pretty close to what I felt. It tasted really bad and my stomach was unsettled for hours after. He was a good looking guy too -- like Tom Selleck when he was younger only with blue eyes.

I'll never understand how smokers can eat a fabulous meal and then inhale tobacco.  I know when they light up around me after a meal it totally ruins what I ate for me. I guess it's all about them, huh? Because I seldom hear anyone ask "do you mind?"

Aside from my own problems breathing around cigarette smoke I don't find the stench at all appealing. Generally I don't make friends with people who smoke because it's too uncomfortable, at least for me, and if they have any sensitivity, it's uncomfortable for them. What I've found though is most of them don't care how uncomfortable you are -- they ened their fix. That's what an addiction will do to you.  I know that's how I am with my morning coffee. You don't want to talk to me before I have my first cup. Not that I'm nasty, I just have no clue what you are talking about and I'm not very friendly. But smokers, well, the ones I know, out of their way, they are going to have their fix no matter what.

Yes, something that happened this week prompted this.

I have a friend that smokes.  She's a life long smoker. Her car smells of it, her clothes smell of it, her hair smells of it. Even when she wears perfume you can smell it, but what would be a nice cologne is messed up with the cigarette smoke.  It turns my stomach. Before she leaves for work in the morning she has a smoke. On the way to the car at night she has a smoke. I'd walk at a distance so I didn't have to smell it but once you're in the car, it's on her clothes, in her hair and you can smell it.

After meals she has to have a cigarette -- and when we do eat out together -- generally with a group - even though I keep moving out of range, rather than raise her voice -- I certainly wouldn't expect her to put the damn cigarette out -- that would mean someone else was coming first -- she moves closer. She has to know I'm moving away to get away from the smoke -- especially when I fan my hand in front of my face and say "I need to get away from the smoke." And because of how it ruins the taste of an otherwise great dinner in my mouth I can't imagine hers tastes even better. It pisses me off to spend money on a nice meal to have it ruined with the stench of cigarette smoke.

So this week I needed help with something and as a last resort, I called the smoker. She smoked on the way over to my house -- I could tell because the stink was pretty fresh. And yes, it was in her clothes, in her hair. Molly, the 21 year old kitty started to meow in her "I'm not happy tone"....she doesn't like bad smells either.

It was late and I needed to get to bed...I didn't say "hey, have a seat, let's talk..." I stood at the front door, waiting for her to get the hint to leave. She doesn't get hints and even when you say outright "I need to go" there's always an "oh I forgot to tell you". It's never, "okay, talk to you later."


SHE suggested moving further into the house because Molly was getting pretty strident. SHE sat, I busied myself getting ready to close up the house so I could get up in the morning. I finally told her that the smell of the cigarette smoke was bothering me.  Her response?

Not -- oh man, I'm sorry.

Not -- I should have remembered.

It was, "Gee, I didn't smoke that much today."

IT'S IN YOUR CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  IT'S EMBEDDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We stepped outside.....I hoped for the hint to be taken where she'd say "listen, it's late, we'll talk later" and go on her way. Oh no, she was going to continue the story that I had no clue what it was about until she was good and ready to leave. And even outside the smell of the cigarette smoke overwhelmed me. It made me dizzy and sick to my stomach.

As I walked back in the house I realized I can't continue the friendship. She's never going to not smoke around me and I'll never be okay around it. If we were to consider going on a day trip, she'd never, on her own, not smoke for an hour or so before and then NOT smoke all day. And if I asked her  not to there would be martyr drama and comments about what she's done for me.

The sad part is, she's an interesting person. She's been there when I needed someone go hold my hand at the emergency vet at 2 in the morning. But physically I can't handle the smell of the cigarette smoke.

I do agree smokers have a right to smoke. I just wish they didn't feel the need to "share" it with us non-smokers, especially after a meal.