1.) NO! IT IS NOT LAYFAYETTE OR FAYETTEVILLE!! JUST FAYETTE!
2.) YES, IT DOES EXIST- IT'S 45 MIN NORTH OF TUSCALOOSA, ALABAMA
3.) SURE WE HAVE A MALL--WE HAVE ABOUT 4: WAL-MART, DOLLAR GENERAL, AND SECOND TIME AROUND! OH AND YARD SALES!
4.) ON WEEKENDS DURING THE DAY: SINCE YOU'VE SEEN THE SHOPPING CHOICES..WE HAVE A THING CALLED THE CHANNEL(NO, IT'S NOT A CLUB OR A TV STATION) IT'S A VERY BIG RIVER THAT WE FLOAT ON TUBES. YOUR TRANSPORTATION WOULD BE A 4 WHEEL DRIVE TRUCK OR A 4-WHEELER..YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
5.) ON WEEKENDS AT NIGHT: NO CLUBS! IT'S CALLED- TRUCKS, MUD, AND A FIRE IN THE WOODS...SOMEONE WILL HAVE A FIGHT AND MAY EVEN CATCH ON FIRE! SORRY, NO CHAIRS..WE HAVE TAILGATES! AND BRING YOUR OWN TOILET PAPER!
6.) BEWARE OF: DEER, OR ANY OTHER ANIMAL THAT MAY POP OUT AND HIT YOUR CAR OR ANY GARBAGE CANS THAT MAY BE IN THE ROAD...THEY WILL MAKE YOUR MIRROR DISAPEAR!
THE POLICE-THEY WILL PULL YOU OVER! IT MIGHT BE TO JUST CHAT OR TO GIVE U A BIG OLE TICKET! U NEVER KNOW! OH AND THAT LITTLE RED LIGHT IN BETWEEN PIZZA HUT AND THE MEXICAN RESTURANT..IT LASTS ABOUT 2 SEC.
7.) IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PERSONS PHONE NUMBER THAT YOU NEED TO TALK TO OR JUST FEEL LIKE RUNNIN INTO SOMEONE YOU KNOW/RELATED TO. JUST STOP BY WAL-MART! THE WHOLE COUNTY WILL BE THERE!
8.) IT'S CALLED A "GRAVEL ROAD". NO MATTER HOW SLOW YA'LL DRIVE YOU'RE GOIN TO GET DUST ON YOUR NAVIGATOR. DRIVE IT OR GET THE HECK OUT OF THE WAY!
9.) ALL OF US HAVE BEEN HUNTING AND HAVE WITNESSED OR SKINNED A DEER! YEAH, WE SAW BAMBI AND GOT OVER IT!
10.) YES, WE HAVE TEA. IT COMES IN A GLASS OVER ICE AND SWEET! IF YOU WANT IT HOT SIT IT IN THE SUN! IF YOU WANT IT UNSWEET..ADD LOTS OF WATER.
11.) SO EVERY PERSON IN A PICK-UP WAVES. IT'S OK TO WAVE BACK! THEY'RE NOT OUT TO RAPE YOU! AND THEY ARE AWARE THEY DON'T KNOW YOU! IT'S CALLED BEING FRIENDLY.
12.) NO, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT HOW YOU DO THINGS UP NORTH. IF IT'S SO GREAT THERE STAY THERE! AND WE'RE NOT THE ONE'S WITH THE ACCENTS! YOU ARE!
13.) IF YOU MESS WITH ANYONE IN OUR FAMILY! NO QUESTIONS ASKED! WE WILL FIND YOU AND WE DON'T MIND GOIN TO PRISON!
14.) WHEN YOU DO GO TO A PARTY IN FAYETTE..NEVER WEAR HEELS OR CUTE FLIP-FLOPS! YOU WILL GET MUDDY!