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Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
http://www. terminal-boredom. com/reviews19. html
Unholy Two "Kutter" 7"
Throwing this on I was ready to bail, or least be bummed, 'cuz "Kutter" starts off sounding like some jack-off noise-band bullshit for the first minute until they spin the intro into some gold-plated kick-in-the-dick mean rock'n'groove. They hit it like the Mayyors did on their 7", repetitive and unstoppable, the sort of thing you can't turn away from. Heaps of reverb on the vox (maybe even more than a Clockcleaner record! Yikes!), severe guitar oscillation, soundwaves flying all over the fucking place, grindstone drumming, all sorts of special effects damage. This is what they call a face-melter around here. "Porkys" on the flip gets right down to business. Total fucking stun-gun overdrive, drooling vocals, drummer hits the groove hard and relentless, multi-pedaled guitar assault (one heavy like lead, the other smeared and slippery). Brewtal. I get a slight whiff or art-school noiseband faggotry from this, but what do I know...the tunes are pummeling enough that I could care less. And this thing reeks of cocaine so bad I can't really pinpoint any other telling aromas. There's a shitload of bands in Columbus, this is one you should probably hear. (RK)
(Columbus Discount Records // www. columbusdiscountrecording. com)
http://www.dustedmagazine.com/features/743
Unholy Two
"Kutter" b/w "Porkys" 7"
(Columbus Discount)
"Kutter" starts out in some plodding, kind of questionable James Williamson Stooge Explosion action, but once it lets loose it gets fucking crazy – fast rhythm and totally solid riffs, hurdled back and forth with reverb and delay, and benefiting from very sympathetic post-production. Buzzsaw jammer, will rock. Not too sure about "Porkys" as it points into a Lightning Bolt/Dan Deacon sorta artjock thing, but the same production and killer mixing helps this one out too as it gets going. A pure noise-rock single in 2008, right down to the offensive cover art; everything old is new again. Pretty rad.
(www.columbusdiscountrecords.com)
http://zgun.blogspot.com/
The Unholy Two s/t 7" (Columbus Discount)
The beginning of "Kutter" is a near rip of the Clone Defects' "Scissor Chop" and that is fine with me as dats one of da best songs of the Nineteen-nineties. But when I thought this was gonna lurch into some Brainbombs gruntage, The Unholy Two flies into Science Fiction Comic Book Land--a kinda galloping thuggery that rides on a defective laser beam. In this hard-to-alienate-the-parents world, this is a record that will annoy ma & pa. As I am for anything that reestablishes punk rock's secret musical cult, I very much endorse this damage. Excellent. —SS
http://worldofwumme.blogspot.com/2008/04/unholy-2-gutter-religion.html
The Unholy 2 debut still feels like a specter in my hand, a figment of my imagination, even though I've had it in possession over 24 hours and listened to it about four times it's nearly invisible. It might be the same way the cum-guzzlers feel after a long, sloppy, night with Lutzko the Saudi Prince. In theory this 7" was never supposed to happen, live shows were never supposed to take place, an actually band was never supposed to be – instead of a tragically hip implosion though, the Unholy 2 have survived, and the product of that union, that fortitude and perseverance, defies the schlock rock and public displays of horn-dogged narcissism that preceded it. But if you looked close enough, you would have seen that Lutzko has been an auteur from the beginning. It was all part of one elaborate joke, only now we have to take serious notice.
Remember how he would blow his wad in those nihilistic early performances that usually ended in chaos? That was to make you believe he had no scruples. Those antagonistic, hate-filled (but hilarious) diatribes from the stage? Well, now he's been given the right to say just about anything within ten feet of baby rape. You might blush or bat an eye, but you pretty much regard what comes out of his mouth as the all-encompassing-anti-establishment abstract gospel, with a pair of girl jeans to match. The fact that his vision started as a duo – drummer Bo Davis banging on junk – and now has bloomed into a formidable trio with Adam Smith just as much a part of the action (blasting altimeters and sonic buzz around the shitstorm), proves actual practices might take place. At first the low-brow art-damage was nearly unbearable AMREP copy, these days, any appearance and they're the dark-horse marquee. It was part of the plan, a sleeper cell terrorist plot to burn down the beach from within.
And now? Now you get a tangible piece of art for putting up with this trash. What a beautiful piece of art it is too, every little detail taken care of by the hands of county's favorite masochist – the nervous, off-center, type on the label, the carefully procured clip art of a naked Kate Moss (after a coke) Xeroxed with just the right amount of fuzz, the absence of a name, a title, or even a Columbus Discount logo on the cover. Herein, it is all about the entire package – not just the brazen slab of music.
Even back when they were named a Band to Watch, "Kutter" was a staple, the song about girls who can't cook, can't fuck, just slice. On wax it burns - magic stab wounds blown out, the Jim Jones funeral march towards the gas chambers. In the studio the band can thrive on endless scraps of gristle and scummy noise, Smith's rightly choreographed phase waves match the atonal grind of Lutzko and Davis' clatter like a wizard in penance.
The b-side "Porkys" follows a similar two-chord formula, and it should, just now it's sped in the mode of Suicide on 45, a bit indie even. This, until now pretty much unheard, is the symbol of progression (Masons Unite!), and goes back to the role of Lutzko as director. "Porkys" is a cock-out concoction of guerilla film in aural form – 80's slasher flicks with Teen soundtracks, a documentary about Steve Albini finally getting head, a dash of French New Wave leaning into the dive bar, Putney Swope in Technicolor, and Skinemax Snuff for good measure. Maybe I'm only adding to the mythology, I hope, because it simply makes it increasingly more fun. Enter at your own risk.
http://smashintransistors.blogspot.com/
The first half of "Kutter" sounding like a Godflesh outtake getting cut into tiny bits with a band saw before it lands head first on it's noggin. Then it then screams and yells about who knows what (but whatever it is-I'm sure as hell it ain't all about sunshine and puppy dogs) over noise resembling a Brainbombs tribute to biker rock face planted face first in a pile of crank. It's b-side, "Porkys", may or may not be a tribute to the film where a lot of kids growing up in the 80's saw their first naked boobs on film but with a unstable rat-ta-tat-tat beat, raw throated barking and guitar noise that sounds like a 100 Shop-Vac's run through a distortion pedal playing the guitar solo from the Stooges "TV Eye" any drive in that would show it would be running a river of spilled blood halfway through the opening credits.
To get a little more inside the Unholy Two's mind check out this interview.
http://www.myspace.com/theunholytwosucks