The holiday season really got me thinking about what I am thankful for.

1) My dad not growing a goatee (obvious first)

2) Lithuania (I'm 25%)

3) Tissue Paper for your nose (if you have a cold and you can afford it, it does wonders to that ussual "ring of fire" beneath your nose that seems to appear when you consistantly wipe with thin paper bags.

4) Unicorns being dead

        explination: I know their pretty but you'd have to imagine that if they were alive they would be tortured by industry (exploited for their horn and tears) It's better they don't make the jump to real.

5) Ankel Braclets for convicts.

     explained: I love hearing stories from my co-workers about how drunk they will get once they finally come off.  It's like a chastity belt for casa nova. It pains them so.