Sometimes, coasting through life is a bad thing. Over time, we get into the ease of routine; we may be satisfied with our rut, not sensing much need for anything beyond what our own abilities can provide for us. If we do sense a need, we may not be motivated enough to change or seek change.
That was me before 2007. On Jan 1, 1am, I was in a serious car accident. Long story short, I spent all night in ER. I had a broken left wrist, broken left collarbone, and stiches above my eye. Looking back at the images of a car smashed like aluminum foil, I wonder why I didn't get a serious head injury, internal injuries, or worse. Two successful surgeries later, I have lots to be grateful for.
Not to be morbid, but an experience like this leaves me to wonder at the reason for my continued existence on this planet. If anything, the feeling is not sickening or daunting, it's the closest thing to being reborn..... I feel things again like I'm first discovering them. I feel close to God, because things like walking, smiling, breathing, singing are still things I can do, when my accident could have left me without them.
I'm discovering my family again. People who know me the best and serve me the most during this phase when I literally can't help myself. I'm discovering my gift again. Piano playing has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. Now, I can't use my left hand, and only diligent physio will bring mobility back - and mobility will come back. I'm discovering my God again. More specifically, I'm discovering my NEED for God again. I truly feel thankful.
A brush with death will always affect people on a deeper level... I'm just sorry that I haven't been putting my priorities where priorities should be.
As for songwriting... some more sombre, eternity-focused songs have been written. For the first time in a while, I'm facing a reality of life that is very tangible:
I am here on earth for a short time. God's given me this time for a reason, and he's got something specific for me to do. I'm on a journey to find that, and live it out.