 |
Current mood:  anxious Category: Life
Today has not been a good day thusfar...
Apparently I was far more vocal and apneaic than normal last night, and managed to piss of everyone in the house with my snoring.
I suppose I can blame that on the copious amounts of alcohol imbibed last night...
Damn... That seems to be my excuse for everything lately.
I think I may well be on my way to a drinking problem. *sigh*
To be honest though... I don't feel like that would be a wholly bad thing. I mean, I have so much shit coming my way in the next few days, that death by alcohol poisoning or liver failure wouldn't be the absolute worst way to go.
Now this anxiety... This breath-stopping, paralyzing, and painful anxiety on the other hand, most definitely would be.
I spent the better part of the morning cleaning, and trying to stave off the waves of nausea and high blood pressure through busy work. Fucked up thing is, it's only served to make things MUCH worse. I realise exactly how much has to be done, and how I have little time in which to do it. I also realise what exactly is at stake and the worst-case outcomes that could come as a result of it. It's crippling me from the inside out...
I am fucking terrified...
I wish more than anything, that I could just fast forward to the day I leave Orlando and start over back in South Florida. The wait is what drives me crazy.
Whatever consequences come to me, I wish they would come right now, so I can get it over with. I want to breathe again, wherever that may be. I want to stop being so scared and uncertain and just start to live again.
...
-mE
5:55 PM
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|