July 29, 1933 – October 14, 2009
It's sad that we have to start of another blog with an “In Memoriam”, but Captain Lou Albano was a legend among the men in the locker room, and with the fans. Some who are not necessarily wrestling fans may remember Captain Lou as Cyndi Lauper's father in the video “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. I personally just loved watching him on the cartoon “Rock n' Wrestling”. Cartoon Lou was just as fun to watch as the real-life man. Our thoughts go out to his family, fans, and former peers. Rest In Peace Captain Lou! Enjoy that ring in the sky!
As sad as that is, we also have the Bound For Glory Pay-Per-View predictions for our amazing readers. Bound for Glory is TNA's answer to WWE's WrestleMania, complete with a fan filled weekend, only not as a popular. They try but will never have the glitz and glamour and sweat and tears that WrestleMania provides. So enjoy this weeks edition, and roll the footage monkies...
As we enter the third installment of my mega list of the best, we'll recap once again for you all out there;
#50- Doug Williams (TNA) #49- Tommy Dreamer (WWE)
#48- Dolph Ziggler (WWE) #47- Rob Terry (TNA)
#46- Abyss (TNA) #45- Kane (WWE)
#44- Jay Lethal (TNA) #43- Brutus Magnus (TNA)
#42- Primo (WWE) #41- Chris Sabin (TNA)
#40- Rhino (TNA) #39- Alex Shelly (TNA)
#38- Cody Rhodes (WWE) #37- Santino Marella (WWE)
#36- James Storm (TNA) #35- Carlito (WWE)
#34- Robert Roode (TNA) #33- Shawn Michaels (WWE)
#32- Bobby Lashley (TNA) #31- Eric Young (TNA)
#30- Hernandez (TNA) #29- Ted DiBiase Jr (WWE)
#28- David Hart Smith (WWE) #27- Homicide (TNA)
And for the next 12...
#26—D'Angelo Dinero (TNA): This former ECW superstar (known as Elijah Burke) made his debut just recently in TNA at the Hard Justice Pay-Per-View event, where he debuted as a heel and interfered in the Steel Asylum match. His debut on Impact saw him being attacked after he defeated Consequences Creek, by Suicide. The program these two Freaky-Deaky wrestlers are entering should be interesting. I love the look of Dinero and I can't see what else they have in-store for us fans. I'm keeping my eye on him. I think this is Burke's time to shine.
#25—Shelton Benjamin (WWE/ECW): I believe that Shelton has to be one of the MOST under-rated WWE Superstars in history. Not to mention, he always gets really shitty gimmicks. But this quick as a cat, light on his feet, ground and aerial wrestler is so stealth in the ring and in any match situation that it makes you wonder, how he ended up in the mid-card ranks.
#24—Finlay (WWE/SmackDown): At one time Finlay used to be one of my favourite heels, then they turned him into a midget-loving babyface and it made me hate him. I tolerate him because he's good in the ring and is one of the most skilled grappler's AND brawlers there are today in the business. He's a man who has always had my respect because without him, Trish, Lita, Molly, and all the other diva's who owned the division at the beginning of the decade, never would have stood a chance. He knows how to work with what (or who) he is given and make the best out of it. Except being a babyface.
#23—The Hurricane/Greg Helms (WWE/ECW): This man, is awesome. He has a great gimmick with the superhero look as the Hurricane, and he's got a sack full of talent (teehee, I just said sack). He's so good at talking and the wrestling aspect that this guy has the entire package. As both his alter ego, Greg Helms and The Hurricane, he's able to switch back and forth so easily without a beat. He often doesn't get the credit he deserves, but I'm just sayin'.
#22—Tyson Kidd (WWE/SmackDown): The other third of the Hart Dynasty. The last wrestler trained in the infamous dungeon up in Calgary by Bret “Hitman” Hart. This guy is talented beyond belief, he's technically gifted and is light on his feet. I see a lot Shelton Benjamin in him and personally think a match between the two would be great. Tyson has a unique look that stands out, is built well, and has great in-ring work. I wonder if he can talk though? If he can pull a great or even good promo out of his ass, then by this time next year, he could be in the top ten.
#21—Matt Morgan (TNA): Here's a guy, I never thought would make it on any list. He's impressive in size, power, and strength, and he's found his home in TNA after a brief stint in the WWE. He's been aloud to develop character in the smaller promotion, and has also been given the chance to show his abilities. Both of which, never happened in the WWE. With Vince McMahon being so high-up on the large guys, it surprises me that he didn't capitalize on Morgan when he had the chance. Whether Matt Morgan is ready for a TNA title run, is too soon to be determined, but in the future...most definitely
#20—John Cena (WWE/RAW): All you girls and youngsters can send me all the hate mail you want, I don't care. But the truth is going to hurt. Cena has no talent. The man is great to look at, but he knows 5 moves in the ring total. He has great charisma, and he has excellent promo skills. He has a face for the camera, but he's generally expressionless in his movies and in the ring, it's predictable as shit. I'm tired of the WWE shoving Cena down our throats every chance they get. He's not that great and he gets as annoying as an unwanted money shot in a porn (I was going to say something way worse but who knows who may be reading---lmao). Cena needs to add more to his in-ring work. Having one power finisher and one submission, isn't going to help him get over with me and the hardcore fans. May I just add, I really REALLY wish, he would stop ripping off other logos, like the AWA and John Deer tractor company logo. That's just retarded.
#19—Suicide (TNA): This Rey Mysterio look-a-like has some pretty mad skills in the ring. I wasn't a huge fan of his, nor am I still but he has the lucha look which you just can't help but admire. He got the mystery surrounding him and is like a puzzle. Nobody can figure him out. Suicide is pretty fun to watch. But now TNA has Suicide, and homicide, are they gonna get Manslaughter too?
#18—Kurt Angle (TNA—TNA Heavyweight Champion): Kurt Angle is the only Olympic gold medalist in the professional wrestling industry. For that alone, you have to respect him. He is undoubtedly the most technically sound pro-wrestler in the ring today. But injuries and addiction, and even a possible prison sentence, has hindered Kurt Angle's ability to one day call him a legend. It seems when the WWE let Angle go back in 2006, it was because he had failed multiple drug tests and they even went as far as offering him rehab. Instead, as soon as his “no compete” clause was up, he dashed on over to TNA seemingly where his problems had gotten worse. Divorce from wife, Karen Angle, more drugs, more injuries, and stalking his “girlfriend” and breaking a restraining order. If he had left the WWE in 2006 and just walked away from wrestling, he may have obtained the right to be called a legend. Now, its just sad.
#17—Rey Mysterio (WWE/SmackDown): If it wasn't for a series of injuries then maybe Rey Mysterio could have had a whirl wind run as World Champion again. But nope. Recently, Rey failed a drug test and has been suspended for 30-days. The catch was he was in the middle of a program with newbie, Dolph Ziggler, where he was defending his Intercontinental Championship. Because of the failed drug test and him failing to provide a valid prescription for the drug from a registered doctor, he was suspended. The final SmackDown before his suspension took affect, had him losing his Intercontinental Championship to John Morrison in what was called, a Pay-Per-View quality match. Rey is down and out for now, but truthfully, I won't be surprised if he just ends up, out with a “best in you future endevours” speech.
#16—The Miz (WWE/RAW): Here's a guy who is kicking it over on RAW after being on ECW for so long. The Miz really made himself known, alongside John Morrison as co-hosts of the Slammy award winning web-cast, The Dirt Sheet. The web-cast allowed both men to show their personalities and showcase their creativity. The Miz is hard to describe in the ring but in the past few years since his debut, he's grown as an in-ring competitor. Recently fired from RAW by celebrity host, Jeremy Piven, The Miz found away back in by defeating Eugene for a contract to RAW on a pole match, disguised as the Calgary Kid. After the contract was sign, The Calgary Kid revealed his true identity. Now that's using his brain (and the creative department). He's also had some pretty interesting tweet wars over on Twitter with Chris Jericho that has helped him gain popularity as a heel. Gaining notoriety by all the Cena haters that he is better. Not to mention, he's the new United States Champion and that was awesome, just like he is.
#15—Christian (WWE/ECW—ECW Champion): With Christian dominating the scene over on ECW since his return this past February, he's shown why he is Captain Charisma. His promos are the strongest in the business today and he's added different elements to his repertoire, keeping him fresh. Christian hopefully won't be stuck on ECW forever, he's too good and too important to be stuck there. But I guess it's nice that he is the big fish in the small pond, instead of a small fish in an ocean full of sharks.That's it for this weeks Skirt Sheet, and we have one more week to go with this list, and if you are starting to find it annoying, just be thankful that I am sticking to the list because I have a whole lotta bitchin' to do regarding Matt Hardy's job fest. In Life There Are Winners...And There Are Losers...Be Jealous & Be Sexy
***the views and opinions expressed in "Boot Camp" are strictly my own and do not in any way reflect those of WWE, TNA or any other group that I might inadvertently piss off! But....If you're gonna get all emo over it, then just run home to your mommy, curl up in the fetal position and cry salty tears into your fucking Ovaltine!!**
BOOT CAMP
What's crack-a-lackin', troopers? Keepin' it rizzle fo' shizzle, bizzle? Yeah....maybe not.
Now that I've got you in that sudden state of WTF-itude, here's something else to make you shake your head in disgust and bewilderment.
Courtesy of the Hartford Currant, a newspaper in Connecticut...
Democrats Criticize GOP Candidate McMahon, Wrestling Videos
by CHRISTOPHER KEATING
October 17, 2009
Three professional wrestling videos on YouTube were taken down Friday after they were sharply criticized by the state Democratic Party.
The videos featured what appeared to be public sex in a wrestling ring and simulated rape, among other controversial images. Democrats criticized World Wrestling Entertainment entrepreneur Linda McMahon of Greenwich, who is running in a Republican primary for the right to face U.S. Sen. Christopher J. Dodd in the November 2010 election.
WWE's CEO through September, McMahon is still a director and member of the executive committee, according to the organization's website.
"As WWE chief operating officer, Linda McMahon presided over programming that showed simulated rape, public sex, and necrophilia, and now she wants to be our U.S. senator?" asked Democratic spokeswoman Colleen Flanagan. "People across this state, not to mention the millions of women who are the victims of sexual violence every year, would be horrified and embarrassed to know that the person who seeks to represent them condones this kind of behavior. That kind of programming has no place in our society, and Linda McMahon has no place in the U.S. Senate."
Within hours of the criticism, the videos, at WWE's request, were taken down Friday afternoon.
McMahon's spokesman, Ed Patru, said Dodd and his supporters should be more interested in improving the economy than worrying about professional wrestling.
"Every American understands the difference between scripted television entertainment and real life betrayal of trust by Washington politicians," Patru said. "It's stunning that Chris Dodd's apologists are more concerned with television programming that isn't real than the senator's record of taking every bit of special interest cash he can find, providing taxpayer-funded bonuses to executives he was supposed to regulate, and falling asleep at the switch while the entire country's banking system crashed."
Dodd largely stayed out of the controversy when asked by The Currant Friday afternoon in Hartford about McMahon.
"I'll let the Republican opponents deal with her on that," Dodd said.
Dodd said Connecticut residents are more interested in keeping their jobs and receiving better health care than they are about political battles and wrestling.
"There's going to be plenty of time for all of that," he said. "In the meantime, I've got my work cut out for me. People might find that interesting reading. They're frankly not interested who the Republican nominee for the Senate is. ... I'll worry about the Republican opponent next year when the time comes." ======================================
Really? Are you fucking shittin' me? This is just more solid proof that politicians are some of the world's biggest assholes. All you ever see anymore is opposing political parties running each other through the dirt to try and make the other guy look bad. I got more than my share of that shit with the McCain/Obama retardedness last year. Now, these goons in Connecticut want to use past WWE storylines to make Linda McMahon look like a deviant. Once again, the Katie Vick thing comes out. I doubt WWE will ever live that down. It was probably the worst, most distasteful thing WWE has ever done. But is Linda McMahon really to be held accountable for these "racy" vignettes that were run by the company she used to be in charge of?
What does any of this have to do with politics? WWE is FAKE!! It's just a show for television. The subject matter might be questionable, but nothing is really happening. There is no real sex going on (even though we did see more of Lita's left boob than we expected!) and nobody is getting hurt, killed or committing necrophilia of any sort. WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE NOW? Why not send PETA to protest some other douche who is seeking public office because he was caught on video playing Super Mario Bros and he jumped on a turtle and squished it! He even shot fireballs at some of them! He is violating the rights of those poor little turtles!! Let's string him up in the town square! Put him in the stocks and throw rotten fruit at him! Makes a ton of sense, doesn't it? The correct answer, boys and girls, is "FUCK NO!" Say it with me.....
I knew you could! ;)
This is one of the most jacked-up, stupid and inane things I have heard about in recent memory. It's hard to say who exactly is to blame for starting this, but I hope it all ends well for Linda McMahon. She shouldn't have to be penalized for something that happened on TV like ten years ago, or whatever. You can tell how much of an issue it is to me. Why it's more of a problem for those political piss ants is beyond me, but it doesn't make me view any of them any more favorably. Fuck 'em all!
Look, it might be tough to wrap your head around some of this, so just do what I have decided to do to explain away anything in my life that is such unimaginable horse shit.....blame Kanye West!
=================================================
On a side note, Shane McMahon has tendered his resignation from World Wrestling Entertainment, effective 01 January, 2010. Shit, folks! You know it's getting bad when the boss's own son jumps ship. He didn't waste any time. Shane practically "future endeavored" himself with his official statement he posted the other day.
Damn!
=================================================
On to more crap I have a problem with...the celebrity guest host on RAW schitck is reaching critical mass, much like one's rectum while driving down a dark, deserted highway with no rest areas or gas stations in sight after realizing your Taco Bell volcano burrito is looking to make its urgent exit out the old back door...and it's not waiting for anybody! Painful, awkward and it gets worse with every passing second and bump in the road. You don't know despair until you've suffered through an ordeal like that. Unless you watch RAW every week!
Last week's guest co-hostesses were definitely on drugs. Who did Nancy O'Dell think she was moving all those Divas around? I think she might just be the world's biggest lesbian, seeing how she totally fucked most of the Divas roster in one night! Even I can't claim that grand achievement. I don't like about 90% of the changes that were made by her decree. She out the throw-away title on Melina, who is happily back on RAW, but now stuck on the show with the Toys R US trinket championship. Oh well, I hope the change is good for her. They moved Mickie James AND Beth Phoenix over to SmackDown, and I pray one of them takes McCool and retires her useless, overstretched ass!
This week's guest host is the D-O-double jizzle, Snoop Dogg. Yeah, that's what I thought. Every guest host has come to RAW with some kind of hidden agenda to promote some shit they're involved with. Whether it's a movie, a charity or just a bird-brained campaign against the "racist American school system" **cough Sharptoncough**, nobody ever comes to RAW just because they are a fan and love being there just for that reason alone. Sure, some try to pose as fans to get into the favor of the crowd and not look like an obvious fake, and they fail miserably. Whatever Snoop is there for is a mystery. Does he have a new CD droppin' soon? Is his reality show coming back for another season? Does he just need a handout for his next stash of the chronic? Who knows?
Rumors are coming out now that Ozzy Osbourne will be hosting RAW on November 2nd. Rumors or spoilers, I'm not sure. Pretty much any guest host announcement lately has spoiled RAW for me at least one week in advance anyhow, so I call them ALL spoilers. What's worse is....I have heard a rumor that Verne Troyer (Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies) is hosting RAW in the near future. Okay, NOW I call some serious shenanigans! Fucking Mini-Me?? Is this a joke? What is he involved in that makes him a worthy candidate to host RAW? Does he belong to some kind of weird midget charity? Is there some "Yellow Brick Road To A Cure" campaign for aging Munchkins with health issues? Will he be there to represent the Lollipop Guild? What is Mini-Me's real purpose for getting the face time on RAW?? Is his sex tape coming out on DVD that week?
I may very well hang myself in my closet before any of this comes to pass. Honestly! It all has to end somehow, and I don't see it ending well for any of us, but we'll breathe a HUGE sigh of relief when it's over. Belizzle dat, mah nizzle. Fo shizzle, bizzles!
Okay, I'm done now.
=================================================
Wow...I just had a scary thought. Imagine if Kizarny was still around and he caught up with Snoop Dogg during RAW on Monday night. Holy Hell, I'm not even going to touch that one! You'll thizank me lizater.
=================================================
So, I think I'll leave to ponder that horror a bit longer and bid you farewell for this week, troops. If there's one thing I love to do, it's leaving all you people with the most unforgivable and disturbing visual to chew on for the next 7 days. Enjoy that!
With that said, I'm outta here, troops! Don't forget...WWE SmackDown VS RAW 2010 comes out on Tuesday (in the US, anyway). I'm guessing The Game will be giving us a full review in the coming weeks. He and I are gonna geek out on this game all week long. At least I can say that, seeing how I took the whole week off until next Monday to have more than enough time to overload myself on all the greatness that shiny little disc has waiting inside.
Until next time, troops....you're DISMISSED!!
=====================================================================================
Had enough yet? You got something to say to me? E-mail me at darkside619@hotmail.com and get it off your flabby little chest! Your feedback is both welcomed and encouraged, and your responses will be highlighted in my next Boot Camp article. Your orders are clear, troops......it's time to stand up and sound off!! I'll make you famous! >:)
Until next time, this is The Sarge.....reminding you: Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
Well, This is It
Hey kids, well...this is it I suppose...
I promised you a few weeks back that if the WWE continued with this stupid ass Hornswoggle/Chavo storyline then I am done with Raw. Well, they continued and so, I am on Raw Strike. I understand last week they actually left out the worst angle of 2009, but believe me...it will be back...it will be back...
I mean, do they really hate their fans this much to throw CHRIS MASTERS into the mix? If the masterlock challenge returns and the first competitor is either Chavo or Swoggle then Raw deserves to be shut down permanently. The worst part is I can't really go to SmackDown either. Matt Hardy is being buried and Bore-tista and Mysterio and clogging up the airwaves, topped with awful pre-shot videos of Teddy Long being haunted by The Undertaker. WWE is just not a good place to be a wrestling fan right now.
I can't go to TNA either. The temptation to drive all the way down to Orlando simply to chant Fire Russo is overwhelming I will admit, but other than that, Main Event Mafia (nWo #527) holds absolutely no interest for me.
So, ROH? I would love to, but I can't watch their TV programs, they don't have PPV and it's not that gratifying to just read results over and over and over again.
I guess that leaves me UFC and The Ultimate Fighter...look out Kimbo Slice, here I come!
I will still check out updates on the WWE, I want to get back in eventually, but while they're doing awful storylines with stupid celebrity guest spots instead of focusing their attention on storylines and quality matches, I cannot support this product.
They remind me of the Toronto Maple Leafs, nobody wants to put in any effort and why should they? Fans still pump millions of dollars in a year regardless of the quality of the product.
Last year we were treated to one of the best rivalries I have ever seen: Jericho and Michaels and now what do we get this year? Great Khali and Kane. Fuck this. The writers and the bookers are lazy. They're booking terrible weekly shows, awful gimmicky pay per views and focusing entirely on what the celebrity wants to sell, rather than selling a decent show. Well, pardon me, but I'm gonna go find a good product to watch for awhile.
Hey, UFC is on.....
Well, Shane is quitting! Apparently it's because he wants to help his momma in her race to the Senate...I cannot help but wonder if he left because he's super pissed that HHH and Steph will clearly inherit the company, not the oldest son. I know inheritance is a speculation, but HHH hasn't let anyone stop him from getting what he wants so far...
Rest in Peace Capt. Lou/Mario...we will miss ya
I think that's about it for the day, oh, except FUCK YOU WWE FOR THINKING MICKIE IS TOO FAT, chauvinistic fuckhead assholes, she's gorgeous
I'm the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be..and the Miz is awesome!
TNA
Bound For Glory
Predictions
TNA World Championship: C)AJ Styles vs. Sting
Sarge's Prediction: AJ Styles
Diva's Prediction: AJ Styles
The Game's Prediction: Sting
The Hitman's Prediction: AJ Styles
TNA Knockout Tag Team Championship: C)Taylor Wilde & Sarita vs. The Beautiful People
Sarge's Prediction: The Beautiful People
Diva's Prediction: The Beautiful People
The Game's Prediction: Boring
The Hitman's Prediction: The Beautiful People
Submission Match; MMA vs. TNA: MMA) Bobby Lashley vs. TNA) Samoa Joe
Sarge's Prediction: Bobby Lashley
Diva's Prediction: Bobby Lashley
The Game's Prediction: Samoa Joe
The Hitman's Prediction: Bobby Lashley
Monster's Ball Match; Hardcore Extreme: Mick Foley vs. Abyss
Sarge's Prediction: Abyss
Diva's Prediction: Abyss
The Game's Prediction: Abyss
The Hitman's Prediction: Abyss
Ultimate X for Future X Division Championship Match: Suicide vs. D'Angelo Dinero vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Homicide
Sarge's Prediction: Homicide (Homicide and Suicide in the same match?? Which is it? LOL)
Diva's Prediction: D'Angelo Dinero
The Game's Prediction: Christopher Daniels
<font size="undefined" style="FONT-</font></font></div></div></font></font></font></font></div></div>