MySpace


Sunday, May 18, 2008 10:33 PM
Dear Burger King,

I love your fries. I ordered a double whopper with no onion. I love your burgers too. Even the girl that helped me behind the counter, was polite and complimented me on my shirt.



Which, I must admit, is a pretty witty shirt. Not a lot of people in the 'ghetto' know what a '.JPG' is.

However, THIS:



Is UNACCEPTABLE! An ONION ring? I open up my bag in anticipation of my delicious burger and fries and get completely and utterly disgusted by this sight. As a matter of fact, the burger I already ate almost came back up. In my recent years of eating, I have learned that food only tastes good going down. It's unidirectional.

Unless you have an alcohol-filled night before, to which you wake up next a naked midget, used condom wrappers and a banana with an awkward brown stain on the side and for some reason its smell reminds you of a pair of year old boxers that you've never washed because of some weird year-long experiment on hygeine and how you'd smell after never whiping your ass.

Wait.

That was... uhm... shit. 
(no pun intended)

ANYWAYS.

Onion ring in my fries is unacceptable, you sneaky bastards. Even though I ate everything (but the onion ring) I demand a refund and a personal apology from the president/CEO of the company.

Sincerely,

Ivan




(just kidding, I was bored and ended up donating that onion to a homeless guy that begs for things. I gotta give him credit though, he didn't beg this time. Mostly because he didn't want it. So I just threw it at him. I blame society. You spoil him by giving him money, but when an honest citizen wants to give him some food? Nope. Doesn't want it. You gotta FORCE them to take it... and sometimes that means an onion ring to the head. Ahh, such is life.)

Previous Post: Moving to Texas | Back to Blog List | Next Post: In Austin. Day 5 (or 7).
Lou

 
No, dude... That's the LUCKY onion ring. If you end up with a fry-type item other than what the item is you ordered, then it's lucky. We first discovered this phenomenon in high school when going to Carl's Jr... We ordered nothing but criss-cut fries... And one day, one of us ended up with a fry in it... That was a good day for us, so it was deemed the Lucky Fry.

The Lucky Fry theory can also be applied to criss-cut fries being in regular fries, and onion rings being in fries, etc.

Perhaps it was the Lucky Onion Ring because it gave you a chance to throw a food item at a homeless guy. Or lucky in the fact that, in your neighborhood, whenever you have a need for a homeless guy, there's always one to be found. That can't be said about most people.
 
Posted by Lou on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 11:00 PM
[Reply to this
The Blog Stylings of IvanThePig
Sir Ivan

 
Do you not remember my eternal hatred for onions? Yeah.
 
Posted by The Blog Stylings of IvanThePig on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 11:11 PM
[Reply to this
JEREMY [56] Gg Scrubzz
Dr. Porach

 
dude first blog in forever and your bitching about a free onion ring? comon man! lol nice shirt though...
 
Posted by JEREMY [56] Gg Scrubzz on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 11:03 PM
[Reply to this
The Blog Stylings of IvanThePig
Sir Ivan

 
BAH! They had it coming.
 
Posted by The Blog Stylings of IvanThePig on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 11:11 PM
[Reply to this
Mz Jade AKA *♥ Dj Lis ♥*
Jade Miramontes

 
LMAO!!! That was hilarious... Thanks for making me smile
 
Posted by Mz Jade AKA *♥ Dj Lis ♥* on Thursday, May 22, 2008 - 12:41 AM
[Reply to this
♠ DreamingAgain ♠

 
I dont go to burger king much anymore, but when I did, probably 3 out of 4 times I got fries i got ONE onion ring in mine as well. My reaction, WTF as well, didn't eat it, continued on my day. :)
 
Posted by ♠ DreamingAgain ♠ on Friday, May 23, 2008 - 2:34 PM
[Reply to this
[><]Bubba[><]
Matthew Gunning

 
ah yes the lone onion ring... i get thest quite often when i eat at burger king. i eat mine though, because i like onion rings, just not as much as i like fries!

-M4TT
 
Posted by [><]Bubba[><] on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 - 10:54 AM
[Reply to this
Previous Post: Moving to Texas | Back to Blog List | Next Post: In Austin. Day 5 (or 7).
The Blog Stylings of IvanThePig

Sir Ivan


Last Updated: 11/18/2009

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Gender: Male
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/2/2004

Who Gives Kudos:



My Subscriptions