It's 1 in the morning, I've had too many drinks, I can't find my lighter, my cell phone, or my dignity, and I don't think I'm going to find the last one anytime soon.

It's colder then the sac of Satan, according to my roommate and secret manlove crush Josh, which I am inclined to agree with at this point. When my glasses fog over the moment I exhale from my nose, and that freezes, yes, it is very cold.

December sucked so bad. For those in the know, I made it out alive. For those out of the loop, just know that I'm the walking embodiment of "Stones Law of 'You Are Gonna Get Raep'D'". It's like the fourth law or aerodynamics, right after that one where Newton gets hit in the head with falling produce. Or fruit.

As a side to the above paragraph: Is fruit produce? I mean....I dunno, produce is a pretty big term. It covers vegetables, but does it cover fruits? I know it covers tomatoes, and that's a fruit, and I spell it with an e in there, so eat it, whateves man.

God, but as bad as it sucked, December was great. First month out on my own, living in my own apartment, standing on my own two feet(when my fucking knee wasn't deciding to go all wonky on me on the ice), just proving to myself I'm not as bad a fuck up as I always think I am. And spending quality time with a few important people in my life, the few that left to bigger and better things only to come back like they said they would, and it was all still the same. It was nice. Shame it's ending come the 22nd.

Everyone always belts out Auld Lang Syne when the new year rolls around. How quaint, a yearly tradition like invading a foreign country and blaming the economy crash on....what'd we choose as a scapegoat this time around? I can't remember. Let's just lump it with Bush. Yeah. Guy is getting all sortsa shit, so one more thing won't hurt him or whatever.

But, yeah, yearly traditions. Forgot my frame of reference at this step. Senor McCormicks is kicking in.

Oh, oh, alright, yeah, new year, new Stoney?

Naw, fuck that. New year, same Stoney, but one that's pretty aware of his pitfalls and downturns. All is quiet on the home front, but to crib a line from a rather Fearless friend of mine that's pretty rad, there's a party in my mouth and it's a failed intervention. But everyone's invited. Especially you.

Ugh, my Monster Vodka Dew is empty. And there's something shiny under my computer desk. Wonder what it is.

Damn, just my lighter. The search for my dignity continues.