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Wednesday, January 23, 2008 

Category: Writing and Poetry
My love still finds
no outlet.
My ache
forced to defend
itself against
the insidious
and arduous
temptations of
less than,
lies bitter,
bent and bound
like a broken valve
turned in on itself
reeking and raking
until it's rancidness
poisons even
possible promiscuous promises,
wanting and waiting
to find a new
victim to withstand
my self loathing and disguise.
I spew my silent
vile venomous
onslaught until
you too
turn and hide,
running and ruining
us both for the hunt


5:00 AM
 
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medusa netzine

 
Tricia Price-Henley's profile

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS NETZINE IS ABOUT MAKING EACH OTHER BETTER WRITERS. PLEASE OFFER IN-DEPTH, THOUGHTFUL, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM THAT WILL URGE CONVERSATION AND PROVOKE THOUGHT. This is not just a place for pats on the back; there are plenty of other sites for that. If you like it, tell us WHY. If you don't, tell us what could be better.
 
Posted by medusa netzine on Thursday, January 24, 2008 - 10:37 PM
[Reply to this] 
ShirleyHallPoet
Shirley Hall

 
This piece is very nice and solidly penned. I like the way the theme moves throw the stubbed lines much like a run-on sentence without the punctuation. It made for a very enjoyable read.
 
Posted by ShirleyHallPoet on Friday, January 25, 2008 - 4:37 AM
[Reply to this] 
Michelfranco
Michelfranco Blasetti

 
magnificent rant

love the sapient and effective use
of alliterations
esp

"poisons even
possible promiscuous promises,
wanting and waiting"

good stuff indeed!
(you are the writer of the week, in my opinion)
F.
 
Posted by Michelfranco on Friday, January 25, 2008 - 9:23 AM
[Reply to this] 
medusa netzine



Last Updated: 5/16/2008

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