When Terrible Twos Wasn't So Terrible

This Stay at Home Dad wants to go back to yesterday.  Take me back to yesterday and I will tell you about the good old days of changing multiple diapers a day and the only resentful thing said to me were about his bottle of milk being empty.
Sometimes it feels like my world's gone crazy when dealing with the attitude, fingers and mouth of a four-year-old, please can I ever go back to yesterday?

Other Moms and my sister used to say to me in my early days of being a Stay at Home Dad, just wait until the terrible twos arrive!  Well sister those days have come and gone; can we go back?  When the F***ed Up Fours arrived, life really started to suck! 

The F***ed Up Fours Thrash

When my son turned four my life really got f***ed up trying to meet his needs thinking that this phase would pass next week and the next phase would raise hell on my life.  My son's identity really started to surface and I was tested on everything, from launching his 100s of Hotwheels cars across the kitchen for the mere sound of them crashing into the cabinets to, being asked all day long if his friend Sadie was home from school yet starting about 9AM. 

Up His Nose It Goes

Then when his shows are on TV, it is like a magnet; his finger goes from its new home of being in his nostril straight down to his mouth, I jump his shit over this and his response is "well Evan says it's OK" as he picks his nose again.  Evan is his preschool bud and I am told Evan knows more than dad does, just ask my son as he kicks over a portable tray table for the umpteenth time today just for the sound it makes while hitting the floor.  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

I Ruined His Life

I am told multiple times a day that I ruined his life, that I am mean and that Evan knows more than I do.  I cannot get a break no matter what I do, but I am Dad, a dad who has done that Stay at Home Dad gig now for over four years.  I love doing what I do while at the same time longing for a job where I can drive in rush hour traffic while listening to music (my music) , worry about corporate downsizing and go more than a couple of hours without a finger going from up the nose it goes to in the mouth it went.  This Stay at Home Dads only fear of downsizing these days is my longing for my life as it was when it had some sanity to it.  I know that this phase will soon pass and it will seem simple compared to what we will face when my son is 16 and wants the car on Friday night.  Please can I ever go back to yesterday?  He is only four years old and has more girlfriends than boy buds, what is it going to be like in 12 years?  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

Girlfriends and Boy Buds

Speaking of boy buds, I know they are only four but when I pick my son up from school, Evan comes running asking him "where's my hug?"  Then they give bear hugs to each other while little Miss Ashley tell me she is my sons friend.  I know there only four but I would sure feel better seeing him giving Ashley a hug than Evan, but what is it going to be like in 12 years?  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

In all honesty, I got him in preschool for the social interaction of being around kids his own age knowing full well that he would pick up such flattering habits as his nasal snacking, and me getting called a poopy head when I ruined his life again today; this is starting to take its toll on me.  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

My DVD F***ed Up Fours Thrash

This kid has quite the DVD collection from Cailou and Baby Einstein collection to Curious George, Nemo and Infinity and Beyond if you catch my drift, anyway these videos get tossed and scratched after his mom gives them to him to play with to settle the nasty spiritedness, and I can't blame her.  Then It's up to me and myself only to perform a faith healing to make them one again and play, I am only a Stay at Home Dad, I am not superhuman!

My Anti-Child F***ed Up Fours Thrash

Then there was last night after my 4 year old goes through this nightly rage from 5-7 PM when he is seemingly transformed into the anti-child!  He refuses to nap and it shows in this timeframe when an all-new level of ugliness takes his face and wreaks havoc in my life; there is no pleasing this person even when he gets his way!  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

He is in preschool 2.5 days a week, Monday Wednesday and Friday mornings, these days go all too quick for me and my haunting comes on Tuesday and Thursdays along with the weekends.  "Well where his mom" you ask?  Please can this Stay at Home Dad ever go back to yesterday?

I know this is only an F***ed Up Fours phase and things will get better, but will this phase ever end?  This is only one day for tomorrow brings on a new F***ed Up Fours Thrash.