James left for St. John's on Saturday (or was it Sunday?) and now I want to fucking kill myself. I'm so lonely, and I feel like I have no life and no friends... which is not far from the truth. I have two part-time, low-wage jobs. I might have to find somewhere new to live without the input of my roommate slash lover. I haven't exercised in two weeks. I have scarcely left the house is two days, and not at all today. Over the past day or two I have watched: Amélie (again), eight episodes of House, as many if not more episodes of Seinfeld, an episode of Friends, some news, some Extreme Homes, an hour or two of MuchMusic hottest girls/guys/videos, and Bad Education. Last night I slept from 3:30AM til about 1PM. I lay on the couch almost all day today. Over the past twenty-four hours I have eaten these things: half a bag of tortilla chips with guacamole and salsa, one Twix, one Coffee Crisp, some Koala gummies, a small bag of nacho-flavoured cheesies, a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats, a glass of lemonade, and the remainder of a bag of Crispy Minis. I think Jo is back, but hasn't called/emailed me yet (which I know is understandable, I'm sure she's tired). Toban is working the Memorial Cup so I think he won't be online til later anyway, if at all. I'm trying to talk to Emily – not about any of this, just about a song I found, but she isn't responding anyway. I know one person who calls me a "friend" (maybe) in this entire town right now, and she has never called me, even though I have called her a couple of times before. I hate that. Last night I had to take a taxi home because I have no friends here at all. I spoke to Mom and Dad on the phone tonight and I was crying the whole time, and they did not even notice. And aside from my usual body image fixation issues, that's why I "just want to die". Feel free to chime in anytime, O friend of friends... As if you ever read this trash anyway. No wonder I'm garbage to everybody.

k