Papà

Although Papà does not know, in my heart your name is crafted, Papà
Papà you have not seen it, the pages of my life are painted with your face, Papà
Even though you have not hear, in many paragraphs of poems myself often chant
About stories, tales of fable like that have been written on the book of experience
Even though you no longer sail far, Papà, I am still sailing all the great oceans
‘Tis true Papà’s physical strength is limited but energy to living rose greatly high
Tho’ many have departed, but Papà dearest, still holding on to keep on traveling
Although many a time I have complained, Papà raised me so that I do not drawn

There are still countless moments that are stored, archived from the past years
They are memories about you Papà beloved that will never become worn and old
All those fingers of yours and those two strong dark brown hands you have
Very often had run through and stroked my knotted brown hair in the past
In time of sickness and in time of wellness dearest Papà had been at present
And in times that you're absence, my deep great longing for you, dearest Papà
Set me to feel ill that the fever takes pleasure in sailing this body of mine
Even today is no different to how it was in the past I am often tortured by agony

Do you still recall beloved Papà the years we were all spending together?
Or perhaps the weariness of your journey has erased moments and times?
These many crystal-like droplets from your daughter’s eyes are unstoppable
Countless memorable scenarios pay their visits through the days and nights
The gentle gallant face you have so truly pleasant for the eyes to gaze at
In the young cheerful days your charm took countless glances at Mamà’s beauty
The grace and beauty of a woman you are now embracing dearly to eternity
Even though for years Mamà beloved is no longer by your side as companion

Not that long while at one moment my darling younger sister threw me a joke
Set me to laugh with her sentence “Older sis’ beloved, you’re just like Papà dear”
‘Tis true that Papà and I are alike; in certain regard, we both are heart breakers
Said younger sister; Papà and I won’t measure love, as we were born to be lovers
I still see you Papà, tending fields from one day to another beneath glaring ray
The burnt skin on your shoulders Papà is a memoir about the heat blearing sun
With your face that illustrates the upheavals from all path in your every travel
Whichever directions Papà had walked around to, reached and passed beyond

Such thick skin of Papà’s feet show many sliced lines, split and diced the two feet
At times they bled, other times were filled with splinters and stabbed by thorns
Your firm muscles from the past are now weaker accompanied by old times
Lines to many tales on your forehead portraying joy and sorrow over decades
I am now a grown woman, venturing far from you, from Mamà and all siblings
Laughter and joy are my companions, though sorrow and sadness also visit me
Deep in my heart I now see, Papà beloved, yourself, bear many more heavy loads
With my deepest and endless gratitude I honour you, my dearest beloved Papà

Your light brown pupils with those light blue circles adorned you face, Papà
Becoming increasingly blurry to see in details and write me letters like before
And tho’ just a moment, even only a sentence, tho’ not each day, dear Papà writes
Each time I received your written message, Papà, at all time calls me ‘sister’
Many times since I was a child girl, you addressed me as little sister and daughter
Often, all of us your daughters, are addressed as mothers by you, darling Papà
I once asked your reason, your reply was because child girls, all women
Must be respected and loved as how one loves a mother and a sister

It is not only for a glimpse of moment that I stop in time to remember you, Papà
Not only for short while that I want to be embraced by your love and attention
I long being your companion, planting sweet potatoes and bananas in the garden
My hands are no longer small like before that were unable even to hold mangoes
My shoulders are bigger to carry logs that before I could only carry the tips ends
Papà, at times I see you all alone in many of my dreams through deep dark nights
I shed tears too many times in my sleeps in the middle of all those quiet nights
This silence without your presence, Papà, becomes the hidden ghost in my soul

Very often I call for you, Papa, from across traffic distance, in my heartsick cries
I always hear your prayer Papà, in joyous, accompanied by your good hopes
Myself is far, far from sight, but names of my children and mine are mentioned
In your thoughts and hopes in this life, Papà, others and myself are prayed for
Papà and Mamà, in the old days, each night your noblest prayer were uttered
Set us children to sleep with peaceful hearts and comforted bodies, as we dreamt
I will never forget that there are two visible and living Gods in my world
While I live, Papà and Mamà are whom I am calling and entitled “Gods on Earth”

© Francesca Von Reinhaart 2009


Papà

Walau Papà tak ketahui, dalam hati ku masih terukir nama Papà
Memang Papà belum lihat, pada lembaran hidup ku lukiskan wajah Papà
Walau Papà tak sempat mendengar, dalam bais-bais puisi aku bersenandung
Akan cerita kisah bagai dongeng yang telah tertulis pada kitab pengalaman
Biarpun Papà tak berlayar jauh lagi, samudera-samudera besar masih ku layari
Memang Papà tiada sekuat dulu, namun gairah hidup terkibar luas besar
Walau banyak yang telah pergi, tapi Papà sayang bertahan tuk terus berjalan
Walau banyak telah berulang keluhan ku, Papà mengangkat biar tak tenggelam

Masih bagitu banyak sa’at tersimpan dari masa lalu
Kenangan akan mu Papà sayang kan tiada menua
Semua jemari mu dan tangan kuat mu berkulit coklat tua
Telah dulu sering membelai rambut coklat ku yang tak tersisir
Dalam kesakitan serta kesehatan Papà sayang selalu hadir
Di sa’at tak hadir, kerinduan ku pada mu Papà sayang
Membuat ku sakit dan demam pun mengarungi tubuh ku
Sekarang pun masih seperti dulu, kadang tersikasa derita

Masih kah Papà sayang ingat masa kita semua bersama?
Ataukah kelelahan perjalanan telah mengahapus waktu?
Tetesan banyak butiran air jernih dari mata anak mu tiada putus
Kenangan skenario tak terhitung berkunjung siang dan malam
Wajah lembut mu yang gagah dan begitu elok di pandang mata
Di masa muda ria mu telah memandang kecantikan Mamà sayang
Keanggunan seorang wanita telah kini kau peluk erat selamanya
Walau Mamà sayang tak lagi dirinya menemani mu bertahun-tahun

Adik nona sayang pernah bercanda pada ku tak lama dulu dalam waktu
Memberi ku tawa berkalimat “A’a tana nee, hala təra d’o mii papa tana”
Memang aku macam Papà; dalam hal tertentu, keduanya, kita peluka hati
Kata adik nona, kita tak pernah mengukur cinta, karna kita adalah pencinta
Ada bayangan mu Papà menjaga ladang dari hari ke hari di bawah sinar
Kenangan kulit bahu mu Papà yang terbakar oleh kepanasan terik surya
Dengan wajah mu yang melukiskan pergolakan seluruh perjalan hidup
Entah kemana Papà telah berjalan mengelilingi, menjangkaui, melampaui

Tebalnya kulit kaki Papà teriris banyak garis luka membelah kedua kaki
Kadang berdarah, kadang tertusuk macam duri tajam dari sawah ladang
Otot-otot kuat mu dulu kini makin lemah mengiringi waktu yang terjalani
Garisan banyak cerita pada kening mu menggambari suka duka puluhan tahun
Kini ku dewasa, mengembara jauh dari mu, dari Mamà, semua kakak dan adik
Banyak ria dan tawa menemani, tapi banyak pula duka dan pilu mengunjung ku
Sepenuh hati sekarang aku tahu, Papà sayang, telah kau pikul yang lebih berat
Dengan penuh terimakasih tak terhenti ku panjatkan pada mu, Papà sayang ku

Bola mata coklat muda berlingkaran biru muda yang menghiasi wajah mu Papà
Semakin tak jelas melihat dengan detail kecil untuk menulisi ku surat bagai dulu
Namun walau sejenak, walau sekalimat, walau tak tiap hari, Papà sayang menulis
Tiap kali ku terima pesan tulisan mu Papà, tak lupa Papà memanggil ku ‘na wəni’
Banyak waktu sejak kecil aku di panggil mu sebagai adik perempuan, selain anak
Terkadang kami anak perempuan mu terpanggil sebagai Mamà oleh mu Papà sayang
Pernah ku tanya mengapa, jawaban mu, karna anak perempuan, semua wanita
Haruslah di hormati dan di sayangi sebagaimana seorang Mamà, seorang saudari

Tidak hanya dalam sejenak ku berhenti dalam waktu mengingat diri mu, Papà
Bukan hanya sekedar ku ingin terpeluk oleh kehangatan kasih dan perhatian mu
Rindu ku menemani mu bekerja di kebun sirih menanam macam ubi dan pisang
Kedua tangan ku tiada sekecil dulu yang tak mampu mengenggam buah mangga
Bahu ku kini besar tuk memikul batang kayu yang dulu hanya ku pikul ujungnya
Papà, kadang ku melihat mu sendirian dalam banyak mimpi ku di gulita malam
Telah ku menangis banyak kali dalam tidur ku di tengah kegelapan malam sepi
Kesunyian tanpa diri mu Papà kini menjadi hantu ku yang terslubung dalam jiwa

Aku sering memanggil mu Papà dari lintas kejauhan, dalam suara tangisan pilu
Selalu ku dengar do’a mu Papà, dalam kebahagia’an teriring harapan baik mu
Diri ku jauh tak terlihat bayang, tapi nama ku dan nama anak-anak ku terucap
Dalam renungan dan harapan hidup mu, Papà, aku dan semua anak terdo’akan
Di masa lampau tiap malam, do’a termulia mu Papà dan Mamà terpanjakan
Menidurkan kami dalam kedamaian hati dan kenyamanan tubuh selagi mimpi
Selalu ku ingat bahwa Tuhan terlihat dan hidup dalam dunia ku ada dua
Selama hidup, Papà dan Mamà aku memanggil dengan tituler “Deo Rai Wawa”

© Francesca Von Reinhaart 2009

This poem was recited on Suara Indonesia radio show on Bay FM 99.9 on Wednesday23rd, September '09