I want to be back at wheaton, where I have friends and community and girls who talk to me.  I'm looking to get married soon and that won't happen if I don't know any girls.  (the ones(one) I know in kalamazoo doesn't count for obvious reasons) and I don't trust any of the other ones.  Trust.  Ha.  Trust them to what?  Act maturely, I supposee.  Act like non-drunkardly college sluts, I gueses.  Just like I trust myself, I guess. 

Anyway, I'm at the erocketstar with Jon and that's going well, except that my stomach is killing me.  McD's + coffee = bad idea.

(I hide my fears and lonliness by acting tough: sweearing, drinking (redbull), being rude, etc.  I call it "being me instead of being afraid" but i think it's just a front.)