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Current mood:  amused Category: MySpace
Couple-few weeks back, I reconnected with a chick I went to highschool with - one of the maybe three from my school that I actually "went-out" with (we didn’t "go-steady" because it was a time after that was considered passe, but before "hanging-out" was what they called it) - and she was bitter about her highschool experience.
"I laughed when I got that fucking invitation [to our highschool reunion] - like, why would I want to go see these people who tortured me and made my life a living hell, 10 years after I finally got away from them? Did you get one?"
"Yeah. I don’t know how they knew to send it to my parents’ house," I said. But I digress.
That chick is still fucked-up. In fact, she’s almost as fucked-up now as she was back then - even moreso, actually, because she’s continued to make bad decisions and, just so you know, making bad decisions doesn’t work-out any different when you’re older (I say that because it’s pertinent to the rant I am about to launch). I mean, bad decisions are bad decisions, regardless, and if you continue to make them for any reason, then you’re just a fucking moron and you should own it: buy a helmet, eat with a sponge, and carry a cup for change. People will give it to you - they’ll be all like, "Aw, what a fuckin’ moron! She can’t help it. Here, dear, go buy an abortion." But I digress...
Oh, she’s still hotter than a $3 Mexican pistol in an Arizona pawnshop. That may be why she’s such a fuckin’ moron... people who get hot too young never develop things like brains or personalities. But, again, I digress...
A week or so back, a completely different girl I went to highschool with found me on a social networking site and we got to chatting. She has a great life - wonderfully married, beautiful family, loves her life - and she mentioned yet another girl’s name we went to school with.
Now, I have hardly thought about any of these people in 15 years - I mean, sure, the errant, fleeting, "I wonder..." or the casual memory aroused by telling someone else a story from my past - and suddenly, I am awash in living history!
So I jumped on here - because I lost all of last week to the flu and haven’t worked a day since St. Patty’s Day, literally, so I figured I could afford it, you know? - and decided to look-up some of the people that went to my school. I did this once a few years back and there were only like 10 (2-3 of whom I knew and are on my profile), so I didn’t much expect to find too many. And there were like 72 pages of folks!
I honestly recognized all of maybe 5. But I knew their names had changed, their faces, hairstyles - you know, they weren’t going to look the same as they did in highschool - so I started clicking on this one and that one, just checking them out.
And pretty much all of them have their profiles set to private.
Now, wait - hear me out:
You’re in your mid-30s. You’re married with children. If you still know anyone from highschool, it’s very doubtful you still hang-out with them and if you do, then they are already on your profile. MySpace is a social networking site. So, um... I mean, just go with me on this one:
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A MYSPACE PROFILE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO MEET PEOPLE!?
Because, 98% of you are fatter and uglier than you were in highschool. You’re still just as smart, but...
You know, just... putting it out there.
So, yeah, I’m with the chick I talked to recently: you can save your postage with the next reunion invitation. Everything over here is pretty much the same, except that I look better, have more money, and no longer date strippers (I still fuck them on occasion). And all I’ve been up to since highschool is... still being smarter than you.
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