You won't be sad or broken tonight
You won't be squealed on, ripped up tonight
You won't be back-stabbed, double cross, face down
Teeth knocked out, lying in a gutter somewhere
So dream on
Robyn- Dream on

2009. A new year of promise, potential, reassurance, hope... Not that 2009 is unlike any other year. I think even now the blessing is even greater that I'm still here in my right state of mind with an African American president (mixed, may have you). The promise of change couldn't be more alive or more resonant in the air. My time for change has come. Finally, right now I'm in between projects, break from school, still working full time, and relaxing more than ever. I enjoy not being in front of the camera every waking moment but I miss the camera more than ever. Recently I was talking to Ethan, awesome, awesome photographer about my tearsheet in M-Mensuel over in France and I think that was a little boost of inspiration as far as modeling goes but I'm enthralled with the arts period. I love art, I love vision, I love sound, I love touch, taste, smell... I love how each of the senses are involved in the arts. I miss being on stage stepping into another character's story, I miss playing dress up and telling a story through my eyes, I miss transforming words on a page to something I'm listening to on a CD while the wind is on my face. I miss walking the streets of NYC seeing so many different, interesting faces, the crowds, the noise, the rush, the hustle and bustle, the grind. There truly is no place in the world like NYC. Not even Miami or LA. Beautiful cities but pale in comparison to the concrete jungle. *slight smile*

Other excitements to me are the Grammy's. I haven't been excited about the Grammy's in a really long time. Quite possibly the lack of great music that holds my attention but next year I'm excited. Jazmine Sullivan is nominated, such an outstanding voice and talent. Janelle Monae, Karina Pasian, Maiysha, all artists that I've grown to love and am glad they are recognized by the Grammys.

I'm sitting outside on my back porch and the sun is shining through the window. I feel blessed just to be able to enjoy the sun's rays. Such a beautiful natural occurence. I challenge everyone to take the time out to just smell the roses, kiss the wind, or feel the sun on your cheek. Imagine if life wasn't full of such technological advances now including the Internet, freeways, fast food chains... What did our ancestors do without these things? They lived, learned, and made the best of what nature provided them. Beautiful to me. Hmm...

I'm ready to grind again folks. 2009 is shaping up to be pretty nice and I definitely can't complain about any of the lessons that I have learned through these past two years being here in Jacksonville, the city I said "fuck you" too before I moved to Tampa, almost to NY, and now I'm back here in the same house growing up as a young man. Life has a funny way of putting that mirror back up to our faces. At the end of the day I only see my face smiling back in that mirror at me. Such complex simplicity.