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Forgive my indecision I am only a man

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Friday, May 15, 2009 
i lie in this heat
my head on the pillow
against the wall
with the open window
i catch myself in the middle of a state of wake
and halfway gone to sleep
the blanket covers my body
but exposes my bare feet
i'm thinking about what i didn't want to know
whether or not you were happy all of this time
the last time i had you to hold
i could never tell you exactly how i felt
i wish you could hold my hands and see inside of me
to see how much i'm dying inside
in my own sweat
i turn to my side
and i know that you're not there
but in this state of emptiness
i constantly find myself praying for a miracle
that just one time
in the middle of the night
i will find your eyes
bright in the dark
looking into mine
peering into my soul
and draining me of everything so cold
if i could touch you
at least see you
in my bed again
i would have the strength to rise with you
but all i want to do is die without you
slip into a coma where i can meet you in my dreams
it's the best thing i have going now
until i fall back into this halfway part of the night
where my eyes are open but i'm not really there
i'd rather be
where you are
but where you are
i cannot be
because it's been much too long
to finally make a move
to start traveling the road
to recovery too
i'm just a fool
that hasn't been able to move
until now
it just hit me now that you're really gone
10:48 AM
 
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jawknee



Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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