You said you were gonna write me a letter, but I beat you to it. So here's mine.
Enjoy.
CHANGE
I NEED to believe in......
Dear Homie,
Fuck it.
Yeah, it's that simple. I'm tired of dealing with this and having to be upset every week over the same bullshit, and I'm REALLY tired of being blindsided by the random new shit/bama/situation. SO, I've decided to say fuck it and separate myself from you and your bs ways. You say one thing and sneak and do another. But that's perfectly fine, you can keep doing what you want. Just leave me the hell out of it. I'm done with you, the same way I should have been years ago. I leave you to yourself, so find somebody else to share your bullshittery with. Oh, wait you already have! Lucky him.
You asked if I was mad at you earlier. No, I wasn't mad at all. It would be more accurate to say I'm actually way fucking beyond pissed at you, but I'm more disappointed in myself for thinking there was gonna be something. For the past however many months all I've been hearing about is "It's time for a Change." Well, the brotha was right. It IS time for a change. And that change is for me to stop being upset over you. Separation is the only option I can possibly see. A clean break should have been made back then so that we wouldn't be in this situation. (Or at least I wouldn't.) I dunno what you'd be doing, probably same script different cast. I'm just tired of this ride, so I'm getting off. Knock yourself out though.
Now I'm not throwing our friendship under the bus and saying it's been all meaningless, but I just can't sit here and be around you anymore and do the things that you've been trying to do to/with me while you're steady trying the same process with this nigga. And you have the audacity to ask me, *your big brother* for advice. Honestly homie, sometimes you make me sick and I don't want to see you. (Wait, do you understand that word, "Honest"? I know it's not real high on your priority list.....) I try to keep all that to myself cause I don't want to hurt your little feelings, but damn all that. I'm sick of bein hurt quietly. I wanna say fuck you, but I can't. I'm just empty at this point. I ain't got nothin left to give to you and this mockery of a relationship, this fuckery of the mind, this malignant cancer in my heart, this metastasis of my soul. So yeah, I'm done. Like I said earlier, don't worry bout me. Your "friends" can take care of that, just like those nights. (Right in front of me? How could you?) Decisions had to be made, so I made one just like you have. I don't deal with being upset well homie, you should know that about me better than anyone. If something upsets me, I usually say fuck it and leave it to fester on it's own. Guess what that something is now?
"....I don't have a problem waiting for you, Des..."
"I'm not studying *him* like that…."
"….but we've only hung out a few times since then…"
"….friends…." – My lil homie, the beautiful liar
I'm sick of the BS. So I'm tapping out. If you're reading this and you think I sound bitter, fuck you. I am.
Sincerely,
Master Splinter
----------------
Listening to: Maroon 5 - Through With You
via FoxyTunes