I was recently hired for Computer Help Desk / Service Analyst support in Mechanicsburg with Technisource where I sit 8-9 hours a day answering the phones in a great big office building, working on computer tickets and trying to avoid screwing up.

I do not get on Myspace much anymore, although I log in to check messages, usually I do not have any.. as my old friends seem to have forgotten me :(  OR deleted - you would think the best friend I ever had and a woman I spent almost a third of my life with would have me as a friend, but she would rather add people she barely knows.  Makes a lot of sense eh?  Humans are strange like that. 

The people whom you should be the closest to in life are those who distance themselves from you the most.  

My father for example, have not seen in about 6 years, recently attempted suicide because he beleives we do not care about him.  I cuold not afford to travel to see him for the most part.

Living with my mother and brother yet there are days when no words are spoken.

At least I see my children and hopefully they never forget me.  I drove an hour and a half straight from work to see their spring concerts this week, and glad I did not miss it. These are once in a life time opps and it means a lot to kids to see both parents show up to something they worked hard on...  While I know parents who may live in the same town as their kids and do not even bother showing up.. that type of parent I consider to be a duechebag.  If you have kids, they need to be the center of your life, and despite distance, or divorce, you made a commitment to yourself, your kids and to God to raise them lovingly and correctly despite the differences with another parent.

I wish I could be in their life more.  I come home from work to an empty room at night, when my life plans were raising a family together with a loving woman... but selfishness gets in the way.. and instead of growing a family in love, far too often we are focused on our momentary desires that we are not happy in the moment, and seek other things, and other people that instead destroy family, and in the end will destroy ourselves.  It is why God said "Man is not without the woman or woman not without the man.."

BE happy in the moment.  It at times is a hard choice.  We always focus on what we do not have instead of what we have been given.  We choose to see the bad aspects of other people instead of the Love that they are.  If you choose to Love the one you are with despite pet peeves, Love will change you both.. Unfortunately some choose the black and white, separation.  This is only a break away from Love, separation from your true self, separation from God.  And by doing this, and violating the love of the soul you only bring confusion and lonesomeness to your life journey.

I hope someday these people look within and realize what they have lost, rather than seeking outward trying to find something or someone to fill a void within theirselves, you will not find it, unless you start from within and fix the reasons why you have broken yourself.

Todd / Enoch