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Shana's thought on things

Thursday, April 06, 2006 

Current mood:  pensive
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Have you ever felt like you could disappear and that no one would notice or even care if they did notice?
 
     We have all felt this way at times. Some even feel that way now. I know I do often times. I've noticed one thing about all  this. Often times when we feel this way, all we can think about is ourself. We feel as though no one cares about... us; no one notices...us; no one seems to want to know..us. No one wants to talk to...us. What if we ignored that impulse to focus on ourself, and say, in a manner of speaking, 'to hell with us.' "Us" is what brings depression. "Us" is what keeps us locked up "in the casket or coffin of our own selfishness" using the words spoken by C.S. Lewis. "Us" is a device that Satan uses to lock us up and keep us from our real purpose; living selflessly for Him. That is an impossible task if all we do is focus on ourself.
     Scenario time, or as I like to put it, word picture time. Say you have 5 people who are all at home. All are awesome people; great personalities, funny, spontaneous, love Jesus, but all have issues with focusing on themself. So they're all sitting home thinking of how the other 4 friends don't care about them. They have allowed a real enemy to work in their mind and cause them to become separate and also caused them to speak the 'poor ol' me's' over themself. What if Steve decided 'to hell with me.' I'm going over to Bob's house (in honor of Kim Dal Corso) and we're going to go talk about Jesus, and have fun. Bill decides the same thing, and Susie Q, and finally Johnny B (in honor of Rodrigo Ribeiro). Now they're all in fellowship not allowing the enemy of self to win.
     Our whole walk with Christ is a series of decisions. Will I sin? Will I read my Bible today? Will I pray? Will I call this person that God has put on my heart even hough I may sound stupid? Will I forget aobut myself and think of how to live selflessly for Him? Will I belive a lie or the truth?
     I will say one more final thing on being invisible. Sometimes it can be a time when God is trying to draw you to Himself. Think of what is on your mind when you are going through these dark times. Are you thinking of why God has allowed you to be there or are you thinking that you're all alone and no one cares. What if it's true? What if no one really cares about you? If it is the truth, there is only one thing to do. No, you do not go sink into a hole that no one can get you out of. You don't become a mute, or a hermit, or become a common day Emily Dickinson. You should draw nigh to God. He is the only one that can bring you to where you need to be in Him. Let Him show you all the places that are causing a lack of relationships in your life. Let Him cut away and prune all the dead areas in your life. If you pray it, He will do it. "And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again." Phil 1:6    
     Sometimes the truth hurts and don't I know it. I've been in both places. I've felt like the worse possible human being and friend. I used to say hurtful things to people, not intentionally. I lost really good friends. It sunk me into a very dark pit. Then there were times when Satan would attack, and I'd be in a sea of people, yet I'd feel very far from shore. Even now, I wonder which one I could be at. I know we all do. I hope this hasn't been too long to read. I hope it has helped you as it has helped me to type it and learn from it.
                                                                              Shana
{HONDUR@N MOD£L}
Donna Richards

 
this really makes a lot of sence/ helps a lot. thank u so much 4 writing it. your awesome Shana!

 
Posted by {HONDUR@N MOD£L} on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 12:40 AM
[Reply to this
Ash
Ashley Kruppenbacher

 

It's funny that we always get in the way of ourselves.  Our own pride determines how big we grow in God.  For a while I tried justifying focusing on me by saying things like, "well, I have to look to make sure I'm right with God".  But that's shot down by the verse that says, "search me OH LORD".   The truth is it's pride.  It's prideful to sit in a room filled with people and assume that they are looking at you.  What makes you so special.  It's pride.

Secondly, (and this is in a blog of mine if youre interrested) whatever you look at and focus on, will be the thing that is amplified.  If you stare at a leave long enough, everything else becomes blurry and fades away but that leaf.  In the same way if you are focused on you, God, ministry, family, etc. will become blurry and fade away until soon, you are bigger than God to you.

I love that you exposed how we isolate ourselves by thinking that we are being pushed away.  2 Kudos for you my dear.


 
Posted by Ash on Saturday, November 25, 2006 - 11:45 PM
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Shana Williams aka Shay Bay

Shana Williams


Last Updated: 3/6/2009

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Gender: Female
Age: 29
City: New Orleans
State: Louisiana
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/1/2005

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