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Category: News and Politics
From: Florida Entertainment Scene
Democrats Access H.Billy's Chances
Speaking with totally unbiased Talk Show Host Keith Olbermann from a network with no ratings leading democrats accessed the chances of Senator H. "Billie" Clinton to steal, oops I mean win the Democratic nomination for president.
Senator Majority Leader Harry Reid [D-NV] said, "Even If H. Billie buys me 20 front rows seats for the next 30 Superbowl's I will not endorse nor vote for her and I am the senator who will sell his vote to anything for just one front row seat to any major sporting event so that should tell you how slim a chance H. "Billie" really has.
Next up was Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi [who was wearing a stylish Berka] said, "H. Billie's chances are so slim that if her ass was that slim her loving husband would be banging her instead of every other woman in Washington."
Senator Joe Biden said, "To quote some women at one of those stupid anti-war rallies, Just pull out NOW!"
Fellow NY Senator Charles Schumer said, "H. Billie is just like the NY Yankees; really good in the regular season but once the playoffs start they shit the bed."
Disgraced Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson who was caught with 90 grand in his freezer said, "Yo homes even if H. Billie put a cool mil in my freezer I still would not vote nor support that nappy ass bitch."
Former NY Governor Elliot Spitzer said, "You tell H. Billie I am with her all the way. I will be proud to be her VP Nominee because after all I am the democrat who likes to help women get ahead."
But the most elegant comment of the night came from an unexpected source; - Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy who said, "Ar, Ar, [hiccup] Ar, I will not [Drool] support, Ar, Ar, [Drool] Ar, H. Billie for [hiccup] Ar, Ar president even if she [drool] offers to [hiccup] Ar, Ar clean my [drool] soily Ar, Ar, [Hiccup] diaper every Ar, Ar, day for the next [Hiccup] [Drool] Ar Ar 10 Years Ar, Ar, and It hasn't been {hiccup] changed in 6 Ar, Ar, [Drool] months!"
Then to the shock of Olberman all the democrats in the studio got together and lit Keith's desk on fire and as it was burning out of control they pulled out Marshmallow's and as they started to roast them each and every one of them broke out in song gleefully singing "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead.
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1:46 AM
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