Dear Comedy Store,
There are a few things about your business practices that I've always been curious about. Things I wonder if they're being done willingly and knowingly.
I see that quite frequently there are shows promoted at the CS during the week by local comedians. The two names that I often see associated with these shows are Erik Knowles and Chris Millhouse. I have to admit, I was puzzled to find out that the promoters of these shows do not receive any financial compensation at all for putting these shows on. Now, I know both of these guys and their attitude is (and this same attitude is found in most comedians that I know) that it's not about the money - it's about performing in front of as many people as possible. Making people laugh, that's what it's all about. But I know they both do a lot of promoting for their respective shows and they bring a lot of people in, so I wonder if there's a way for them to be financially compensated for their efforts. Why do I care? Well, I'll get to that in a little while.
Let's look at another area of the entertainment business. Specifically, live music. As you're aware, there are many clubs that feature music (live and otherwise). These clubs have in-house and outside promoters that run shows nightly. There are several different scenarios as to what part a promoter plays in the event but I'd like to mention the most common one.
Cover charge with the house keeping the bar – a pretty simple process. There's a cover charge that's kept by the promoter and the club keeps the revenue brought in at the bar. Isn't this a process that can be used for these shows promoted during the week at the CS? If you have these types of shows then the promoter now has a vested financial interest in the success of the show and will do everything he or she can to ensure that every seat will be occupied. When the place is packed, that means more people will probably be buying drinks. That's where the CS makes their money during the week, but what about the comedians? Was the show packed just because it's the Comedy Store or was it because the promoter(s) worked like hell to get people in there? An argument can be made both ways but, who at the end of the night, goes home with lots of money and who leaves with no more than what he or she brought in?
Now to the reason as to why I care. Part of me feels like you're taking advantage of the reason that your doors remain open: the comedians. They are doing what they love and how exactly do you thank them? Giving them the "honor" and "privilege" of performing at the Comedy Store? Some drink tickets? The experience and chance to perform in front of a packed house? I'll admit – that one is an attractive reason. But again, why and how did the place get packed in the first place?
On the other hand, are the comedians to blame for allowing this to take place? After all, the comedians could say, "Hey, we're not doing these shows anymore until we're paid for our efforts." If the comedians balk at doing these shows, then what? Would the CS step up and do the right thing? Or would this just open up a spot for someone else to do these shows?
Here's a crazy idea: getting paid for what you do AND love. Sounds borderline stupid, huh? I mean, really, who does such a thing? Well, the CS is getting paid for doing what they do. They have comedians get up on their stage to entertain people that come there. At the end of the night, someone counts the money that was made while the comedians get a pat on the back, a handshake and, if they're lucky, an invitation to come back to make more money for the Comedy Store. Then, the cycle repeats itself.
CS, it's no secret that I don't like you. I have not set foot in your building since May of '06 and, most likely, will never again. It's ok – you don't need me and I don't need you. You do not support comedy in any way regardless of what you think. Allowing comedians through the door and on your stage does not constitute your support of up and coming comedians. By not allowing the people that keep you in business the opportunity to reap the financial benefits that you do (and have), that tells me something very important. It tells me that you are (and I hope you don't mind if I get technical here) a big, steaming pile of shit. Your business practices suck hairy, old man balls. Old men that rarely shower with frizzy pubic hair and lots of nut cheese.
I hope that someday you open your eyes and allow comedians to make some money there. That would signal to everyone that you actually cared about the comedians that perform there. For now, the only signal that you're sending out is: WE DON'T CARE.
Maybe I'm missing something here. Maybe YOU know something about this subject that I don't. Please feel free to chime with your thoughts.
Your brother in Christ,
JFB