So, i haven't wrote in a minute.
I have been up and down in waves.
Mostly up, times devoid of negative feelings until given a reason to feel undernourished, have retained.
Still thinking out loud, constantly.
Trying on new theories, in smaller sizes.
Here's a few slovos I can chew on like watermelon gum.

"The place I used to live, made me feel like a tourist
I couldn't coexist with the cold and suspicious
When the last remaining left was starting to filter
It seemed the perfect time to step into the future
And you smile while your twisting the knife in my stomach
Until everything is gone
Take all you can from me
I've got weak constitution
I'm led so easily
So easily

I left it all behind, in the dead of [this] winter,
I left it all behind, but the question still lingers
So long forgotten friends, no, you don't know the difference
Between love and submission, and I'm not that obedient "
Anymore.

I'm shaving my heart from the tough but weak used skin that grew over it like a placenta keeping it safe while in the arms of one and only.
Now he's got new arms to create a mirror image of what safe looks like to women.
It's a seatbelt tearing apart at the seams.

There are only moments at which I feel the most oddy-knocky.
for the boy's eyes, i fear to admit.
the crinkles that spoke in a language only i understood.
The dolphin smile. tiny teeth.
adorable.
it won't last.
with this new girl, i swear, im a psychic. Even if we dont fit,
he still deserves (in the long run) someone as beautiful as he is, and she's not even close.
She's a 10 steps backwards.
Not a bit cuter than any girl he's dated, let alone me.

"This conversation has had no face
when the words take days you can re-write and erase anything
you know my heart (so tell me all thats needed, cause i don't really want this)
knows all this
and I'll borrow words from all my favourite paragraphs
to write about all of these faded things
we hope would mean the most to me
and
each line is sent i have found a new pages of hope for the days when i feel like I've lost everything"

rumi's words of the day:
"To the pigeon preach avoidance of the hawk."

-B