Job hunting is hard work. I find myself caught between getting a nice resume together, or rubbing my Dorito stained fingers on my shirt while watch Tyra. I did however manage to get a couple of interviews lined up so wish me luck. This one interview gave me the hint I wasn't going to get the job. The receptionist was trying to chat me up by saying "hey did you catch the Republican National Convention?" I immediately launch into a diatribe about how stupid she was and how her shoes looked like dead vomit walking. I don't think I'm getting a call back but finger crossies.

Speaking of wasting my life, I saw one commerical that caught my attention. The product it was trying to sell was a device were you step on a pad and  a strategically placed light would light up. Then said device disengages when you step back onto it. "Say bye-bye to the Clapper!" It's main selling point was that the CDC had reported that 8.1 million people have injured themselves by walking in underlit areas of their home. Hmm? Well who knew being stupid was a disease? Way to put me in my place CDC. Now let's work on a cure, maybe we should have a foundation set up.The Sarah Palin Foundation for the Terminally Retard. The ribbon should consist of popsicle sticks and safety scissors.

My mother is bat shit crazy, I admit. Hell she admits it. Good ol' IronPussy I love her. She reminds me of a cross between Oprah and Mommy Dearest. I can hear her now. "Kristy fetch me O magazine! No more wire hangers!" Indication one I had of her crazyassness was back in the day when my parents were undivorced. She woke my father up in the middle of the night because of a dream. In her dream she was given the information of the whereabouts of treasure in our backyard. She made my drowsy dad get up and dig. We lived in Columbus Ohio, which is located in middle of the state in a fucking valley. What kind of shitty pirate would bury his booty there?

Needless to say my dad dug up some sort of animal bone, which sent IP into another crazy direction. Now we had "dinosaur" dig on our hands. My brother was in kindergarten at the time and they were doing a project on bones. He was supposed to bring in a bone from dinner and they would slather it in clay. Cause that's what you do with dinner for the sake of edjumacation. Well my bro decide he'd bring in a "dinosaur" bone to destroy. But his plan was aborted when IP found it in his bookbag and proceed to beat that ass like Joan Crawford. "No more dinosaur bones!" Long story short we had the bone examined to find it was just a cow kneecap. God pirates in Ohio sure are stupid!

Now I leave with one last thing to sum up this blog. I'm a lazy bastard, I can't work with Republican receptionists, stupid is a disease and the people it afflicts will buy anything, my mom needs to take a geography class, and I need to put Mommy Dearest in my Netflix.

You've read it you can't unread it!