Pride day has come a long way. From the first anniversary march commemorating the Stonewall riots on June 27, 1969--we've come a long way. Back then, gays and lesbians could be arrested for kissing or holding hands in public. Raymond Castro was a regular at the Stonewall Inn. Reflecting on that stormy day he talks about how he and others resisted the police raid that day. " I had no clue that history was being made", he says. We as a people have traveled a long way down the LGBT road to equality--but we have a long way to go. Only a handful of states now recognize the legitimacy of same sex marriage.
There is a story about a Tao master who was sitting naked in his mountain cabin, meditating. A group of Confucians hiked up the mountain to see him with the intention of delivering a lecture on the rules of proper conduct. When they saw the sage sitting naked before them, they were shocked. "What are you doing, sitting in your hut without any pants on?" they asked. The sage replied, "This entire universe is my hut. And this little hut is my pants. What are you fellows doing inside my pants?"
The controversy over legalizing same sex relationships is akin to the behavior of the Confucians. Feeling threatened by lesbian and gay sexual relationships, heterosexuals seek to intervene “inside the pants” of gay and lesbian people through denying the right to marry. Beware of those who claim to stand on the high ground or moral rectitude. Witness Mark Sanford--moral high ground turned out to be quicksand.
The resistance to same sex marriage is fueled mainly by the fear and hostility rooted in conservative religious communities. Claiming to be omniscient in matters of faith and morality they presume their truth is the truth. Many of these folks have stopped using the paradigm of 'biblical marriage' because they now realize that many biblical patriarchs couldn't pass the contemporary conservative litmus test. Get over it. When religious objections are removed, there is no reason not to bless same sex marriages.
Now they say, it's all about family values.
Marriage after all, is a public and communal recognition of the intimate and sacred commitment between two people to live together with the blessing of their larger community. If we stop trying to get into the pants of people who make this commitment and open our hearts to their hearts, what’s the problem?
Marriage is not a heterosexual right. It is a human right
OK, but what about the children? Now we are talking family values.
Here is a new word for most of us—gayby. You won’t find this word in your Merriam-Webster dictionary.
As nearly as I can tell, the first citation appeared in 1990. In her Newsweek article The Future of Gay America, Eloise Salholz wrote: “gay leaders have also begun fighting for a slate of family rights including social security, medical benefits, inheritance, child custody and even gay marriage. For a growing number of homosexual men and women, such family concerns are a day-to-day reality: a new generation of gay parents has produced the first-ever 'gayby boom.'"
The gayby boom is here and it is blooming. On the heels of the Pride celebration this past weekend, a story appeared on the CNN website. It features Jesse Levey, Republican activist who grew up with two moms. The author explores the complications, confirmations and consternation of 29 year old Jesse Levey, a self described “well adjusted heterosexual” who listened to Rush Limbaugh while growing up as a child with lesbian parents.
But even if Jesse turned out gay, so what? We are all human beings first. Sexual orientation and sexual identity are secondary characteristics. Perhaps the gaybies will help our culture to live its way into a new way of thinking.
‘The times they are a changin’. Thank God.
Off the top, in my own congregation, I can count six families with gayby children. Some were born into these families, others were adopted or are foster children. All of these children are resolutely loved, no more or less than the children of heterosexual parents. They are children being raised by loving parents—may all our children be so blessed.
The genie is out of the bottle. Throughout history we have watched the circle of human dignity and human rights grow larger. People change. Hearts open. Outsiders gradually become insiders as the marginalized are ushered to the center of the circle of respect. When today's children are grown, whether LGBT or straight, they will one day scratch their heads in wonderment. 'What was all that same sex marriage and family controversy all about, anyway?'
"And a child shall lead them."
Let us take PRIDE in our gayby children—they will show us all how to fly.
Hodding Carter once said, “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings.
18:16
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