Dear Customer -

When I tell you "All" of something is on sale (example, all of our widgits are buy one get one free), please don't ask me about every single widgit in the store.

Me: "All of our widgits are buy one get one free today!"

You: "They are? Are the ones over there included?"

Me: "ALL of our widgits are buy one get one free today!"

You: "Oh, well, what about this one?"

Me: "ALL of our widgits are buy one get one free today!"

You: "Wow, this one too??"

Me: "No actually that single one is not. Good thing you asked!" DUMBASS.

Please keep this in mind next time you are shopping. Oh, and one more thing.  If you are not standing in front of the cash register with all your merchandise on the counter and your money available, YOU ARE NOT READY TO CHECK OUT. Walking all the way to the front of the store where I am working to tell me you are ready is not neccessary. I'm not blind, and there are no corners in the store. I can see the register. WALK UP TO IT AND I WILL COME RING YOU UP.

You: (standing next to me at the very back of the store.) "I'm ready."

Me: "Oh you are? Well let me just whip out my pocket cash register and ring you up right here in the middle of the store to save your rich lazy ass from having to walk to the counter and wait five seconds like every other customer in the fucking store."

Thank you for your time.