You know how much you've changed...

...When you dreamt about someone who you've missed.

...And when he apologized to me that he was wrong and all he cared about was himself, I simply said,"Yeah all you did care for was yourself." and walked away to look for my actual friends.

In that dream, I thought about turning back. I thought about reverting to how things once were and stop my tracks when I started to walk. But when I turned my back and started to stroll away, I never looked back. It felt a little painful, but relieving. As if I can finally accept things for the way they are.

If it's anything, the past year had taught me about acceptance and to let go of things.

I still need to let go of some things, but I think I'll be okay for now. :]

Lately, I've been a little down. I blame it on the mood-swings since I practically have it for 24/7. People just don't see it because I tend to not react upon my feelings. But if it's something else I've learned in the past year--- it's that talking to people about your problems shouldn't feel like a chore. I figured that although telling people about my problems is great (they don't even need to help, just listen), I don't believe in them completely. Call it a lack of trust, but keeping my problems to myself would make life a bit easier.

Isn't that odd? Because by saying that, it feels as if "bottling everything up isn't great". But have you even seen the progress? When I don't tell people about my problems, they are happier and talk to me more. It's either that or I need new friends.

Hahahaha. ;D

I find blogging about it easier... people read it. I know they do. I still don't understand why I get at least five views per day on my blogs even though I didn't write anything new. And people don't come forth that they read my blogs. But whatever. As long as someone reads it--- or at least as long as I've put it out there for people to read, I feel better. As if I've let go of a huge burden. Talking to people about my problems is like directly saying, "HEY HERE'S MY PROBLEM. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT!". Of course, that's not always so nice.

Surprisingly, I'm handling my mental stability pretty well. I'm not saying I'm mental, but I'm more independent right now. =]

For that, I'm glad.

Then again, maybe I've matured. I am almost eighteen afterall. It won't be until another month and less than a half. =] Even though I don't celebrate my birthday, I'm kinda excited. Don't ask me why... I just usually loathe my birthday.

I call it "The Pity Party Day."

...Seriously.

Well anyways!

I've made new textures for Photoshop that you guys can use. =] Check out my photos and there should be a "Photoshop Textures" album. The textures are 1600px x 1600px. They're really big but the canvas size for them were originally even bigger. Tinypic just has to resize it down.

But you can use it for blending and what not. :D

I hope people use them!!!

And enter my "Drawing"! The competition thingy!

Pleaseeeeeeee? :3

I want a lot of people to participate. ^__^

AND w00t!!! For reaching Exactly 6000 Blog Views. :]

~Cindy