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Current mood:  artistic
the dull-but-sweet taste of apple wine(!) crests right on my taste buds as my eyes wander around my dimly-fluorescent-lit bedroom. it was half a bottle, but there's absolutely no buzz. just a lethargic yawn elicited from the sleeping pills i popped down the hatch an hour-or-so ago. success.
i think it's funny when i refer to myself as "punk," and i get the thousand-yard-stare. perhaps it's a generational thing; i was brought up in the generation where being a punk meant doing whatever the fuck you wanted. i record shoegazey, ambient, noisy, experimental folk-pop on busted instruments and a laughably outdated computer. i make the designs for my own t-shirts and own a screenprinting press (thanks, lucas!); if that's not punk, i don't know what is.
i believe the punk aesthetic quietly informs everything i do, from the wildly non-traditional spin on acoustic music to the off-the-cuff nature of my music blog, all the way to my vaguely experimental hip-hop beatmaking. i suppose this exercise is futile, due to the fact that i laugh at being referred to as a "misunderstood artist," as it implies that the artist in question gives a fuck about being understood. but i do want to be understood sometimes.
does everyone have their new year's resolutions ready? 2008 was different from any year of my life, so of course the resolution for 2009 has to follow suit. every year prior to 2009, my new year's resolution has been to become well-known, to become famous. well, i'm quite more well-known this year, due to the music blog and my writing for passion of the weiss. although i wanted to be famous for being an artist, not so much writing about art, an audience is a gift horse i can't look in the mouth.
over the past few months, i've become so disillusioned with becoming "famous" for anything, because of the bullshit politics i've seen coursing throughout underground music. i've been very lucky to have a small and faithful audience for my art, and it's a blessing. i'm no longer interested in being a star. i'm interested in getting better. i want to write better songs, make better hip-hop beats, become a better musician, writer, artist. i've realized that this fleeting venture called "fame" is somewhat of a wash; i'd rather fresh cherries from yakima be found in some dusty bin twenty years after my death by some crazy experimental garage band or something. i want my niece to become an artist, and i want to be an influence on her life. but i want to get bette, so the treasures they discover can be of actual merit.
new year's resolution for 2009: get better.
 | Currently listening:
The Raincoats
By The Raincoats
Release date: 1995-04-05 |
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3:08 PM
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